The Days That Count

42. The Day He Made The Decision

JORDAN'S POV

I walked through the complex, the cool breeze gently brushing against my face as I strolled aimlessly, lost in thoughts that tugged at my heart. Aliyah's words echoed in my mind, their sharpness cutting through all emotional walls.

I pondered the complexity of these feelings I have for Heavenly, the constant push and pull within. Part of me wants to step back, to give her space and time to sort things out and let us be friends again, to protect her from any more hurt. But another part yearned to express what had been buried deep within for so long.

I wish I could've told her everything that's been stirring up inside me, the thoughts that sprang up like untamed vines in my mind after Aliyah's words. But as I walked around the complex, buying ice cream and letting my thoughts meander through the winding paths of our complex relationship, I felt torn.

Aliyah's voice echoed in my head, her words poking at something buried deep within me. A part of me screamed to pull back, to give Heavenly space. But then there was this other part, this unspoken desire that lingered, urging me to reveal what I've kept hidden for so long. Urging me to be next to her, the closer I can.

With each step, I battled with the conflicting emotions that surged within me. Should I withdraw and let Heavenly figure things out, or should I finally lay bare my feelings for her?

The ice cream in my hand couldn't cool the heat of my thoughts. I found myself lost in fantasies, imagining us together, hand in hand, sharing moments of laughter, enjoying dates, and even those tender moments of intimacy flashed through my mind. Imagining the ease and joy of being together, I felt a pang of longing.

But it's not that simple. Reality hit me hard. I struggled with the fear of hurting her more, of confusing everything between us. I glanced at the serene shoreline, the waves creating a calming melody, hoping that someday, somehow, the timing would be right. For now, I'd have to hold onto these emotions, hoping for a chance to express them when the time was truly right.

I didn't make it very far, when I heard someone cuss on the road spreading parallel to the beach I was walking on. My eyes wander to the sound and I find a middle aged man sitting in a dark blue Folkswagen trying to turn it on. As he turns the keys, the car starts for a second or two, but then turns off. He gets out and shuts the door with anger from things not going his way and an obvious affection towards his car balancing his force in that short movement. His features expose fully. Dark brown hair mixed with some whites and a neatly cut gray beard come to the view. I stand mesmerized seeing his unsheakable composure. Eyes of this man were deeply focused, dark brown but with a twinkle from the spring sun lighting them up. His shoulders were broad and strong. I was pretty built myself but this guy looked like he could move a mountain. I kept thinking he looked pretty cool for an older guy and maybe, just maybe - I uttered a small 'wow' under my breath. Just to be clear, admiration doesn't always imply homosexuality. Guys can appreciate cool guys without wanting their cock up their ass, thanks.

As I notice him lifting the front of his car to take a look inside and seeming a bit lost in what to do next, I approach with my hands in the pockets of my black shorts.

"Is everything alright? Do you need any help?"

He turns hearing my voice and sighs, "Thanks. My car won't move and I don't know damn why. "

"Let me check it out for you, " I lean over to see the acumulator and other joint pieces.

I had quite good knowledge when it comes to cars as I grew up with Kameron who was obsessed and knew every model of every brand and everything about it. While checking it out I make sure to explain what I'm doing so the guy would understand. I ask for his tools if he has any in the backpack and he gives them to me. My hands get a bit dirty trying to fix the problem. He keeps helping me and giving me tools.