The Days That Count

40. The Day She Was Overwhelmed

HEAVENLY'S POV

I told everyone I was gonna take a walk down the beach to calm my mind. Jordan is making it really difficult. What does he even want, for me not to talk to other guys at all even though we are not in a relationship? To top of it all, I really didn't have any hidden motives for talking to Anthony. He is just nice and an okay guy that happens to be here. To top of it all, he is Jordan's friend, not mine. I literally met him the day the guys played basketball. Mr He-Thinks-He-Can-Controll-Everything makes me so mad that I want to kiss another guy in front of him just to spite him. Doesn't he even realize how difficult it is for me to cope with things going this way and hearing him reject me? Why does he have to give me even more anxiety then? I don't understand Jordan Parker. This is so much worse than back when he said he was joking about that kiss in high when I liked him. Why does he keep doing this to me?

My eyes fill with tears as the warm wind swirls around trying to dry them. The sand feels good on my bare feet as I take a long stroll and try to collect my thoughts, to see how do I go from here. He literally thinks I'm a girl that's easily swayed, obviously. There is no other reason he would be so on edge and saying such things to me. All my fears after him seeing me kiss that guy at the club came true.

The cool ocean breeze kissed my cheeks as I strolled along the deserted coastline, thoughts consumed by the recent spat with Jordan. Everything regarding him weights so heavily on me, stirring a blend of frustration and sadness.

Just as my mind was lost in the turmoil and the nice bathe of the evening sun, the phone in my pocket pierced the tranquility with a call. I struggle to take it out as my shorts' pockets are quite deep. It's a baggy cloth with length to a bit above my knees and it's so comfortable to enjoy a day at the beach.

Mom is calling. I answer, trying to mask the pain in my voice.

"Hey, Mom," I chirp in a fake happy tone.

"Hi, sweetie. How is your trip?"

My nerves instantly calm when hearing her voice. I usually feel so comfortable around my mom that no other thing can trigger me at the point she is talking to me. She is the sweetest woman in the world and is everything to me. Ever since I was born I had only her. I had grandma living a quite far away so we couldn't go visit her all the time. Father picked up his things and left when I was about four or five years old. I heard from him using phone calls from time to time but that communication happens once or twice a year. For me he has always been just a distant, cold man who left someone as sweet as my mother for who knows what else. I never got the whole picture why he left and when I tried asking mom about it, she would carefully tip toe around the conversation and tell me that he had important business to do and that their marriage was just impossible at the time. So, yeah. Mom is pretty much my whole cotton candy flavored sunshine.

I always avoided telling her too much about my problems and negative feelings since she had so much on her plate already, as I do right now. After all the ruckus with Joe, I don't mention even the slightest thing. I might confess to her later when everything is finally resolved that we had little something but it had to end, since it will come to an end obviously.

"The trip is awesome! I was just playing volleyball at the beach with my friends, " I say happily.

"Joe, Aliyah and Baek?"

"Them and other people as well, " I explain.

"How are they?"

"They're great. We have fun competitions in table tennis and card games all the time! Two days ago, actually, Jordan beat me.. at a card game, " my voice becomes drained by the end, as I remember what followed after the game of poker.