ninjago imagines

jay - constant

#82

passion writing. felt it last night and writing it the next day. 

also over 2500 words??? crazy. 

hope this story makes sense as i wrote it based on my mood. 

love you all, many hugs. 

as always, happy writing. 

The sound of the ocean crashing wasn't loud enough to deafen my thoughts. They attempted but they were unsuccessful. It came to a point where the loud sound of the water slapping itself just became a low hum in the back of my ears. I was aware of it being there, but I could no longer hear it. Like a tv gone static. The longer it buzzes, the less it annoys you. It's odd how things that go on for a long period of time don't bother you but the things that come and go do. Like flashing lights, on and off relationships, beeping.

The things that stay, good or bad, doesn't nudge you. It's just a constant and it's always going to be there. Even if the crashing of the waves wasn't necessarily a constant, the rhythm was. Not exactly on the 4 by 4 time, but close enough that my thoughts were becoming a migraine. Just yelling at you about everything. Ranting about all of their problems, coming up with solutions but find even more problems. Scenarios that they had felt were embarrassing and letting me know at least seven ways on how it could've gone better.

The chores that were waiting for me back on the ship. The conversations that need to take place about several things. Like me running away for three days. My phone had notifications after five hours of me leaving. Never touching my phone and didn't bother shutting it off, the battery ran out. The notifications killing it, a percent at a time. I had nothing against the ninja, I just needed to shut my brain off. Everything that google said was scenic and helped with overthinking, didn't. Every person I met just created more thoughts for me to think about. Not excluding the receptionist at the motel I was currently staying at.

I figured a good cry was what I needed but it didn't help. I felt the physical tension leave but the emotional baggage weighed on my mind as much as it had on my shoulders.

The sand dug into my skin, slowly regretting my choice of shorts. The crashing was a repeating as my thoughts were. It felt like it was going through the same cycle my brain was. Just over and over. There was no one on the beach as it was a school day and everyone had their lives to attend to. The void of being useless contributor to society just grew. It had been there the second Wu picked me up to live on the Destiny's Bounty but it grew everyday. Knowing I was just a charity case. A pity as my parents had left me at the ripe age of 12.

Maybe I should get a therapist.

Ignoring my last thought as I did with all, I tried breathing to relax.

Didn't work.

Meditating.

Also didn't work.

With multiple attempts, I had given up. I let the thoughts consume me and weigh heavy on my heart as much as I let it weigh on my back. Tears slip my eyes unconsciously and I was still unaware since my eyes hadn't blurred that much. I only took notice when I felt it tickle my chin as it dripped off. I try listening to the waves crashing and trembling as they did so. While listening I thought I had caught onto another sound. I closed my eyes and listened even more closely as it got louder. I wondered if it was a whale or a dolphin but it was just a ringing sound.

It was until I made out the words being said and who was saying it.

"Y/N!" The voice screamed as my heart dropped to my stomach in fear. The river of thoughts poured out like a waterfall into a lake, scared that he was going to hate me. Yell at me. Or just be disappointed in me. Fuck. Who wasn't disappointed in me?
"Y/n?" I forced myself to open my teary eyes and pull away from looking at the crystal blue ocean who reminded me too much of a boy I was dating. His eyes almost matched the ocean but it was bright as day and his eyes were a darker blue. More intense. His familiar gaze burned into my eyes, confusion swirled in there with relief. I never meant for him to get scared.
"My love?" He said, but quieter than the last two, dropping to his knees with tears in his eyes. My nose tingled as a reaction, knowing I was prone to crying at that moment with him.