Sea Shadow (General Kirigan & Nikolai Lantsov)

Chapter 30

His voice

"I was thinking," Tolya said, walking next to Kaida. "I know that Nikolai and you have a history together before knowing Sturmhond, but I never knew what happened. I mean you really hated him when he said who he truly was,"

"I'm going to ask you something, Tolya," Kaida said.

"Go ahead," he said.

"Do you know something of me before the volkony?" she asked.

"No, you never talk about your past," Tolya said.

"And is going to stay that way," Kaida said.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I don't want to remember," Kaida admitted.

Tolya kept silent, he didn't know what to say, he had seen the scars on her back and he had heard her screams at night, but like the rest of her friends, he had never seen her cry. He thought that all that pain had to go out some way, and if it wasn't crying, then how?

Kaida was now thinking about her past, she remembered the bad and good thighs of it. She remembered when she joined Sturmhond's crew she didn't like human touch but she could stand it, she could stand people touching her, but after the Fjerdans took her, her fears were bigger than ever and every time someone touched her it was like her skin was burning. She didn't allow The Darkling to touch her for a long time, until she trusted him, but it was all a lie. Jake's touch didn't bore her, she knew him since she was fourteen, she trusted him, but even though she didn't like him touching her, but she never told him. And then was Nikolai, every time he touched her her skin felt like it was burning, but it wasn't painful, and she wanted more. She would never admit out loud or that was what she thought, but Nikolai was her home. Not the Little Palace, not the Grand Palace, not the Volkony, not the sea. It was him.

She thought about him smiling at her and she couldn't help but to smile to herself. She really missed him. Especially because all her friends had someone. Alina had Mal, Genya had David and even though they didn't admit Zoya and Jake had each other and also Tamar and Nadia, she could feel it, and that made her feel alone. She was happy for them, she really was, but she also was jealous, for onces, she wanted to be happy and safe, but the only person who made her feel like that, she didn't know where he was.

Kaida was deep in her thoughts when the whole cave shook, making her look up at the ceiling worriedly, fear on her face.

"Zoya!" Kaida screamed, reaching Zoya's arm to pull her out from the way a rock was falling.

"Thank you," Zoya whispered, her chest rising and falling, with fear.

"Light out!" Mal ordered. "Packs off,"

Boom. Kaida didn't know from where it came but if the bombs kept going, she was certainly sure they were going to end up buried alive.

Long seconds passed and another boom sounded. This one was closer. Louder.

"He found us," moaned Segei.

"No, he didn't," Kaida said. "I will feel him,"

"It's a random attack," Mal said.

Boom.

"Metan yez" David said. Kaida snapped her head towards him. Marsh gas. If the tunnel collapsing didn't kill them, the gas would.

Kaida could smell it in the air, and she took her sleeve towards her nose and mouth, training not to inhale the toxic gas.

"Squallers, take it east," Mal ordered. Kaida was surprised at how he was able to control his emotions. She knew he was stressed and worried and also scared, but he managed to control his emotions and command the group so they could make it out alive. He looked so relaxed, but she knew he was terrified.