Don't Wanna Love

13. My worst nightmare

Sophie

I got a call from Leo that we should be meeting at the coffee house. I agreed, for after the trip, I hardly gave him time..

I had a session with Edward and he was more forthcoming and we worked on his feelings a bit today.. I was happy with today's session for he was slowly trying to work with me..

I went to the coffee shop and as I was walking towards Leo, I saw him talking to someone.. my heart started to pick up its pace.. for my heart recognised him before my brain or eyes could process the information it was seeing..

It was Alex.. He still looked unbelievably handsome and for a moment, I forgot that he ghosted me and all I wanted to was just run into his arms and touch and feel him... Then, my rational brain kicked in,. and I tried to act as composed as I could given the situation.

He was wearing shades.. he took them off and followed me when I needed a moment to compose myself after seeing him and the introductions and Leo suddenly blurting his wife.. so he was married.. I felt my heart shatter all over again. But this time, I was numb to the pain for he had already given me too much pain.

So, when he followed me to the rest room and locked the door, all I wanted to do was slap him silly and kiss him hard.. But I maintained my composure and listened to him babble about my safety and mafia and everything. It could be all true, but how difficult Is it for someone to just write a letter or leave a message..

Anyway, I said thanks for the closure and maintained my composure and I am extremely proud of myself for that..

I decided to go to Leo before he starts doubting.. I don't know when I would tell Leo, but not right now and not today for sure..

I wanted to finish our coffee date and go back home..

Leo was busy on his phone and as soon as he saw me, he gave his assistant some final instructions and hung up.

"So, what happened? All good?" Leo asked me.

"Yes, I just came from work, so needed to use the washroom once before I could sit here and relax with you." I said and smiled.

He smiled too and held my hand, and started to talk about his project and his day etc etc..

I saw Alessandro exit the hotel.. I took a deep breath and focussed on Leo..

I am positive I was a boring date today. I just kept listening to Leo drone about his work and answered in mono syllables.. Leo asked me if I was ok and I asked him if we could go for a drive.. He agreed but it had to be a short one for he had meetings again.

So, I went on a drive with him and tried to be cheerful though I was not.. I held his hand in the car and even kissed him on the cheek and tried to be attentive to him for no one should be made to feel bad while they came all the way to spend time with you.. I was fond of Leo.. but I didn't want to take it further with him.. he deserved better..

I can't do this to him I thought..

After the drive, Leo dropped me back to my home and told me he would come visit me tomorrow. I told him "Ok.. see you.." and smiled at him.. This time he kissed me on the cheek and I let him.

The minute I got to my room, I locked it and let the outburst of tears come.. They did. I looked like shit at 8pm and I requested for dinner to be sent to my room for I was busy.

Luckily, since it was a working day, no one disturbed me. I cried, ate and cried some more and later at night sneaked down and got some ice cream, cried and slept..

The result of which, I have a fever today and I called in sick to work. Now, my swollen face seems justified, an extension of fever kind of stuff I could lie..

Luckily, I had just few appointments and got them all rescheduled for another day.

While, I was laying the bed and just looking blank.. I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in" I said, but to my surprise it was Leo and my mom appeared.

"Hey, how are you feeling.." my mom asked..

"I'm much better mom. Just some cold. I should be fine in a day or two." I told her.

She smiled at me and later said "Ok, kids. I'll leave you both to catch up."

I smiled at Leo. He was looking at me but seemed deep in his own thought.

"Soph.. I know it's not the best time to ask.. but I can't be more formal with you, I need more than friendship." He said.

"I can't date you Leo.. I am sorry.. " I told him.

"Why not? You and I are both gorgeous and both our parents know each other and approve of this. I was really into you.. Sophie for quite some time now. I thought.. I thought we could even marry in future.." Leo said.

I looked panicky.

"Tell me why? Sophie.. I thought you liked me as well.. we have been friends for quite.." Leo was still talking when I cut him off saying "You are too gorgeous, good hearted and a wonderful person Leo.. that's why I can't date you and I can't be with you ever.. Ok."

Leo looked at me incredulously.

"Did I hear right? you just said you can't date me coz I am good-looking, wonderful person?" Leo asked her to confirm.

I nodded my head and whispered a "yes.."

Leo muttered "Unbelievable.." and left the room..

I blew a raspberry and slid down the wall.

Leo got back and reopened my door and said, "Soph.. I don't know what is on you mind.. right now.. but it is the lamest excuse.. I want you to think and answer.."

And before he could leave, I caught his wrist and said.. "Yes, Leo, you are right.. this is just stupid.. my excuse and me.. can you give me sometime, I will tell you about my past.. I have it too.. then we shall think from there.. if we should take this friendship further or not.. "

Leo looked relieved and said "I can give you whatever time you need.. Soph.. I am really fond of you.. I am feeling like this after a real long time.. Sophie" and left.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Team Leo or Team Alessandro(Alex)?? Pick one plz..