I'm five weeks pregnant so far and Lizzie seems to be loving it. She's all over it. Lizzies been upstairs for the past six hours and isn't letting me up there, Leias been desperate to see her mama but Lizzie hiding away up there hasn't made me feel any calmer. I stroke Leias fur and rub her ears "what's mama doing?" She pants whilst looking up at me "I know. I want her too" I smile and tap the sofa next to me. She's normally not allowed up but since we are both feeling low it's only fair. She jumps up and sits next to me with her head high in the air "princess privaliges hu" she barks softly making me laugh. I stroke down her fur and loosen her collar "how about we get some food. Would that cheer you up?" She barks so we both go into the kitchen and she sits patiently on the floor. "There you go" I put the bowl on the floor and get myself some food. Cheese pizza to be exact. I warm it in the oven and lean up against the counter eating it.
Lizzie walks down the hall and chuckles seeing me "baby hungry again?" I nod and put the empty plate down "what are doing up there? There's lots of banging" I ask and take a bite "it's nearly finished, I just need to do one thing and I'll come down and get you" "okay, I trust you. Just promise it's not annoying radical". She kisses my forehead and tucks my hair behind my ear "you look beautiful" she mumbles against my ear "your only saying that because I'm carrying our baby and you have to say that" she smiles softly and curls my hair around her finger "well it definitely has made you glow but you were beautiful before" I kiss her lips and pull her into me "your such a bad lier". She bends down and kisses my stomach "your going to love pizza, I just know it" "they are going to make us have it once a week" I add and she nods "they definitely will" I smile and slip her bum and watch her go back upstairs.
Lizzie comes into the lounge with a smile "all done. Do you want to see?" I stand up "of course I do! What the hell have you been doing up there?" She laughs and follows me up the stairs before covering my eyes "can you see?" I shake my head and hold onto her arms "there better not be a nursery because I want to decorate that too" "don't worry, that isn't done yet" she opens a door. "Ready?" I nod eagily and she removes her hand from my face.
"Oh my god" I turn around and face her "you've been so busy. Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped and it could have been done in half the time" "because it wouldn't have been a surprise and your not supposed to putting strain on yourself" I hug her from the side loosely "I love it" "good because it took me ages" we both laugh. I sit on the bed and look around "you've worked so hard, do you want me to order takeout?" "Is it your treat?" "Obviously" "then yes. Pizza" I smile "baby agrees, good choice. I need to tell my nanna and grandad and my grandparents in England. Oh my god, we should go to England and surprise them!" "That's a crazy idea" Lizzie says sitting next to me "I know it is but since we're starting a family, now would be a good time I think" "okay but when your further in. I don't want to be on a plane and something goes wrong" "but I don't want to be on a plane and go into labour. So can we meet half way?" Lizzie smiles and pulls me into her "I was implying that babe. I wouldn't want that either. This is going to be our last Christmas just us" I pour and curl my lips "don't say that. I love our Christmas's" "I know but imagine how much better they're going to be when we can dress our baby in Christmas clothes and be father Christmas. We can spoil them as much as we want".
Our bedroom is insane, I can't get over how well Lizzie decorated it and all on her own. Fresh sheets and a fluffy Christmas carpet is all I need to be happy. Lizzie loves getting the house ready in November but there is less than a month to go so she's not too crazy. Our baby's going to be born in late July which is the same month as my birthday so I'll be heavily pregnant which I'm not looking forward to but they will be five or so months old for Christmas next year and baby's are adorable. Mine and Lizzie's especially will. "Are you still sleeping?" I nod tiredly snuggling into the pillow "yeah. Spoon me?" I feel her arms wrap around me and her warmth radiates into me "I love you" "love you too". I wake up and roll seeing Lizzie on her drinking coffee "I'd die for some of that" she looks down at me and smiles "your awake. Finally" "I wasn't asleep that long" Lizzie laughs and puts her phone down "it's eight pm baby. You were asleep for two hours" "mmm that makes me happy. Do you want me to order pizza?" "I'm happy to but I want to talk names whilst we wait'
"Okay deal" she picks up her phone and orders the pizzas we always get. Vegetarian for herself and nepolitan for me. "It will be here in half an hour" I sit up and lean on her "you promised we can start disgusting" "okay for girls I was thinking Laine, Lila, Arlia or Layla" Lizzie laugh and kisses my crown "you've been thinking already and you haven't told me" I nod and giggle as she digs her nose into my neck "and boys, Marlo, Arlo and Harley but I'm hoping for a girl" she smiles and starts to caresse my stomach "mommy's got some crazy names for you" "I do not! What do you have in mind then?" "Tyler, Matteo, Rome, Charlie and Luca" "and girls?" I look up at the ceiling and bite my lips "they could be a girl, tell me you thought of that" "I did but my bet is that it's a boy. Most of IVF baby's are boys" "they are but not all".
I hold her hands to my stomach "my name's are better" my stomach grumbles "you've just eaten. There's no way your hungry' I smile at Lizzie and kiss her lips "I'm not. Baby's just eating. We have another appointment next week" "we do, are you feeling okay about it?" "I am actually, I wouldn't think I would be but I am. We get to see our baby again" she smiles widely and leans against my forehead "I can't wait for that" "baby do you think you can make me some of your amazing avacado and egg toast" "honey are you sure your not full?" "I'm sure" "your unpredictable. I'll be back soon with your tenth snack of the day" I give her a sneaky glare "it's both our faults, don't just make it sound like it's just mine. We both love eating" she gives a quick wink before leaving.
"Lily" I whisper sitting up and shaking her awake "lily" I whisper again but this time she wakes. She holds my arm quickly "is everything okay?" She asks panicked "y-yeah I just...I just feel" I stop and start vawling. Lizzie sits up and her hand goes to my stomach "is everything okay with the baby? Would you like me to drive us to the hospital?" I shake my head and wipe my eyes "I just wish my mum was here" I sob and hug her. "Sssshhh it's okay" she mumbles holding my head "would you like a drink?" I shake my head "I just wish she was here to know. To meet our baby" "I'm sure she knows" I pull away and wipe my eyes "me too. I just wish I could talk to her and hear what she'd say" "she loves you and she watching over you" I snuggle into her and hold her hand "I'm sorry I woke you, I just needed someone" "It doesn't matter, I'm here when you need me. Are you ready to go back to sleep now?" "Yeah" I yawn and lay down. Lizzie tucks the duvet around me and kisses my forehead "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere. Get some sleep" I nod and hold her hand "thank you. I love you" "I love you too, both of you" "we love you".
I wake up to Lizzies head on my stomach "babe I really need a wee" I mumble uncomfortablely "well that's not good" she sits up and strokes my hair "morning honey. Go for a wee but be quick" I smile and climb out of bed "be quick!" I laugh at the anger. I get back into bed and crawl onto her lap "can I have some food?" "Yeah of course. What do you want?" "Anything but no eggs. The thought of them make me sick" "no eggs, got it. Would you like an orange juice?" I nod and look up her "kiss?' she presses her lips against mine causing my body to give in. I lay between her legs and hug her arm "I love you" "I love you too" "you can't ever leave me. Ever! I mean it Lizzie, Im not living without you. I can't do this is on my own" "I'm not going anywhere, I promise".
