She:- Who delights our hearts 💖

Forgiveness & Jyesht??

"The only Karma I wish for people who did me wrong is for them to meet themselves in someone else and reality slaps them right on their faces! That's all!"

Will be explaining why I wrote this in the end of this chapter!

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Note:- This chapter is very long!

Karn's P.O.V

I am devastated! I don't know what this feeling is called?! Anger? Sadness? Frustration? Or is it completely different? The man whom I considered as my enemy my whole life turned out to be my brother! My own blood! Mata Kunti the woman whom I considered none the less than a goddess is my mother my own! I smiled sarcastically! My entire life was a lie! A mere lie! Why is the ground not opening up and swallow me inside??? Whyyyyyy??
I want to let out a very angry cry but it feels like my voice is lost somewhere in the middle of darkness unable to bring it back! I was humiliated my entire life just because of my cast! But guess what I am a Kshatriya! The son of the great king Pandu and the great queen Kunti. Why lord? Why be cruel with me? Didn't you did enough?? What more do you want from me?? I wanted to scream, punch and pick myself to death! What have I brought myself to? I considered Rajkumar Duryodhan as my everything since he was the only one who realised my worthiness but that too was for selfishness! Whyyy?? Why did no one love me? Just because of my cast? What does cast have to do anything with courage?? None has ever loved me for who I was! Everyone loved me for a selfish reason! How I crave for a family who loves me like I am! I too want a family like that!
I can sense the anger in mata's voice! She is angry on me and I know exactly why! My heart weighed heavy with guilt as my eyes burned with tears the drop rolled down my cheeks touching the smooth marbled structure floor! We were in Radha's house which was decorated since it was her wedding after 2 days!
Memories flooded my nervous system as my heart couldn't hold it anymore! Memories after memories of Varnavrat and Panchali's vastraharan flashed right infront of my eyes! Panchali's screams and her cries for help rang through my ears! Her helplessness and the way she was humiliated! Her every tear piercing my heart like a dagger! I was brought out of my thoughts by Vrishali's voice! I looked at her standing at the entrance of the room the Pandavas had given us to stay for the night! Her doe shaped eyes were filled with tears! Just watching her cry made me cry harder! All because of me she was crying today! Just because of me! Had I not given that idiotic idea of disrobing Panchali, today we wouldn't have seen this day! I looked at vrushali who walked towards me closing the door behind! She stood infront of me and said, "asking for forgiveness will never show us down Arya!" I looked at her completely blank and said, "forgiveness is asked for the mistakes done unintentionally Vrushali or for the mistakes which can be forgotten easily! But the mistake I did was unforgivable! I don't think Panchali will ever forgive me!"  to which Vrushali smiled and said, "why not try aarya? I have heard Pandav patni has a angel's heart! I am sure she will try to forgive you! If you don't ask for forgiveness that might cause her to be even more angry and frustrated but atleast try aarya! I am sure it will help you to lessen the guilt you are feeling!" I smiled she was right I should ask forgiveness to Panchali! I looked at Vrushali and smiled, "indeed Vrushali you are right! I should ask for forgiveness!"  She smiled and nodded! I left the room looking for Pandav patni!
I stood infront of the door which would lead me to their room! I took all the courage and knocked but none opened the door! I can feel the guilt in my heart increasing with every second that was passing! I walked out from there to the back gardens where I saw the Pandavas and their Panchali laughing and giggling! Panchali laid on Yudhishthir's chest and was giggling! My heart eased to see her smiling! I was just looking at her and didn't noticed Nakul looking at me! I looked at him just to see a different kind of emotion in his eyes! It wasn't hatred neither was it sadness! It was betrayal! I walked towards them as Panchali and Yudhishthir stood up! I was blocked in between by Arjun who stood between me and Panchali like a shield! "Don't you dare take one more step towards her Maharathi Karn! Haven't you done enough to her? What more do you want!?" He said with a warning tone anger lacing in his words. "I am not here to fight Arjun neither am I here to talk with any of you! I am here to talk with Panchali! I don't even have any weapons in my hands to harm her! Anyways you are here and it would be a fool who would harm her in your presence! Please let me talk to your wife!" I said in a soft and hoping tone! Arjun thought for a moment he looked at Yudhisthir who signalled him to let me! Arjun moved out of his way making me directly look at Panchali! I looked at her and looked down! I went towards her and stood right infront of her! I sighed in a dejected manner as I already know the answer or the reaction she is going to give me! All the Pandavas eyes was at me! Looking at me! Waiting for me to speak something! But I don't know were my words went up to! I just kept looking at Panchali who was looking at me! Her eyes neither carried any frustration nor any anger! All I could see was saddness! Finally I spoke out "Panchali! I know I don't deserve this but the guilt in my heart is heavy and I want to lessen it! I know it's hard for you to forget anything and I also know I can't earse any of the past memories! Trust me when I say if I had the power to erase a person's memory I would have used it to earse yours! I know....I......!" I breathed heavily as anxiety filled in my blood as I continued, "I know it's really hard for you! But Panchali please please forgive me, I know I have hurted you and your husband's in the worst way possible! And I know it's hard for you to forgive me! But Panchali please if you can just please forgive! I had given that order because I was tied up to obey Duryodhan since I had promised him to follow his every order and to fulfill his every which as long as I am his friend and angraj! But now I broke all the ties with him due to the guilt I was feeling! I am heading to live a simple life with my wife and I don't want to enter my new chapter with guilt weighing in my heart! Please Panchali I ask for your and your husband's forgiveness!"
I finally let my emotions flow in a go! Tears were already in my eyes I looked at her who too was having tears in her eyes! I kneeled down about to touch her feet for forgiveness but she jumped back in jerk and said, "No Maharathi Karn! Please don't touch my feet and make me do a sin! You are elder to me! If forgiveness is what you are asking for then I would be glad to give you! And I appreciate you coming towards me and ask for forgiveness!" She said in a sweet voice! I could feel the guilt in me vanishing a bit! My heart jumped with joy the moment it heard that she forgave me! I felt a hand on my shoulder as I looked back to see who it was and it was Arjun! I stood up and he hugged me! I was taken aback but after few seconds I hugged him back! I could here him say "it's ok Maharathi Karn we forgive you!" I looked at the other Pandavas who smiled and joined us in the hug! I felt relieved! The guilt in me vanished! I saw from corner of my eyes mata Kunti smiling as she headed back to her room!