Stay Strong Seventeen

Jeonghan

Jeonghan run to the bathroom, he kneeled over the toilet bowl and heaved. His insides twisted and his stomach just wasn't having any of it.
He felt Joshua's gentle touch over his back and he tried to keep his breaths steady as the vomiting finally stopped.
Joshua helped him stand up and walked over to the sink where he washed his face and rinsed his mouth

"I'm so sorry" Joshua apologized looking dreadfully concerned "I didn't mean to hurt you"

"You didn't Shua" Jeonghan replied a bit tired "It's okay, it's not your fault" he tried to remain calm, this has been happening a lot lately so he was used to it by now.
They slowly exited the washroom only to find Dino and Seungkwan outside waiting for them with worried eyes, Jeonghan smiled at them and simply held into Dino as they all silently walked back to the living room.

They were simply having lunch.
The table was full with different dishes they all agreed to order. It was their day off and they simply wanted to have a nice meal but Jeonghan couldn't keep anything in.

Jeonghan was diagnosed with anorexia a few months ago.
It hit all of them low and hard.
He was getting thin and weak, couldn't keep anything down and today was no exception.

They just wanted him to eat it a little, he is usually done after a few bites but Joshua insisted that he had more. He tried to reject it but ended up taking a few more spoons and only minutes later, he was running to the washroom.

Now, he had no appetite for anything, not even water. He couldn't bear looking at food without feeling disgusted and almost gagging at the smell.

"You guys finish I'll go lay down for a while" Jeonghan excused himself and Dino followed him to his room. He saw as Jeonghan simply sat on his bed and let his head hit the pillow while Dino was standing at his door

"It's okay baby I'm just going to rest for a bit, go finish your lunch"

But Dino didn't move

"Can I stay with you?" He asked for the first in a long time. Dino was Jeonghan's baby everybody knew that but he usually doesn't get all touchy with them, he actually hated it but today, he felt soft for Jeonghan and wanted to be with him

"Sure" Jeonghan flashed him a smile "Come here" he motioned to the empty spot by his side and the younger took it without hesitation laying down near him.

Facing each other, Dino just wanted to make sure Jeonghan was doing okay

"I really hate seeing you like this" the younger trailed, his heart heavy and was just being honest "Ever since you got diagnosed, it's been sitting on my chest for a long time now" his eyes never leaving Jeonghan's face "You got thinner and weaker and I want to help you but I don't know what to do, please tell me what to do"

Jeonghan smiled softly, his eyes watered and hated to have this suffocating feeling in his throat
"I'm sorry" he felt guilty for making the younger so worried and for being a burden on all of them "But I'm doing okay baby don't worry about me"

"No you're not" Dino bursted, his eyes full of worry and voice cracking a little "Your health is important and you can't even keep anything down, all you take are supplements and vitamins which are not enough, I want to see you eat properly, I want to see you gain more weight"

"Dino ... I" Jeonghan didn't know what to say, it was hard for him, harder than anything else and he was doing his best. He followed the doctor's instructions and stocked to his diet plan and tried to eat as much as possible but ... was it working? He wasn't sure as well

"I'll try harder I promise" Jeonghan promised and he wasn't sure if he could keep that promise but he did anyways for Dino's sake

"From now on, we'll eat together and if you don't eat I won't either"

"Dino I don't want you to—"

"I don't want to see you in this state" Dino cut his off "Not anymore please, let's try harder I'll try with you"

Jeonghan sighed, he gave up the fight seeing Dino's concerned eyes. He saw as Dino reached his hand to wipe away the tears that suddenly fell on his face, Jeonghan was crying and Dino couldn't help seeing him cry. He got closer and hugged him tight

"I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm sorry" he muffled into Jeonghan's shirt

"No it's okay, it's not your fault" Jeonghan sniffed and broke the hug "I'll just rest for now Dino, I don't think I can deal with this right now"
Dino nodded but didn't leave, he stayed with Jeonghan for a while. They both fell asleep next to each other, Dino made sure to cover both of them tightly and closed the curtains and the door and the rest of the afternoon seemed to have passed away peacefully after that.

The same night, they were getting ready for a late show. Jeonghan slowly got up and got ready and Dino was still feeling bad for what he said earlier. He tried to approach the older but Jeonghan wasn't in the mood to talk about the same subject once again.

When they were done, it was way after dinner time and they all decided to have dinner together.
Jeonghan eyed the food, he tried to ignore their worried glances hovering over him from time to time.
They never pushed him or forced him to eat, he was doing okay with his doctor visits, he was taking his medication and vitamins all the time and he was doing fine, but fine wasn't enough.

Fine wasn't getting him better
And he thought maybe he should open up to the idea of having a little more and tonight seemed okay to do that, not because he felt obligated but because he wanted to. He knew it would make Dino happy for sure and the rest of them will be there for him in case anything happens

"Hoshi can you pass me a bowl of the mushroom soup please?" He asked and saw Hoshi's face lit up "Yeah sure" the younger replied and immediately got him what he wanted. It's just soup, Jeonghan thought that soup wouldn't hurt

It started with the soup but soon, Jeonghan picked up some fruits and juice.

It definitely wasn't an easy road to cross but this was a start. Jeonghan felt comfortable eneough to push a little more food without discomfort and soon, he'll get back on track for sure.