Stay Strong Seventeen

Jeonghan [M] 1

*Self harm / *Suicide
*Depression / *Rape
Ships: *Jeongcheol / *Meanie / *SekSoo
University life
Requested by oliviarose2890

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It hurts until it doesn't anymore.

It's numb.

Everything's numb, he can't feel anything, he was just empty on the inside. Finally, no pain and memories.
That bulldozer-like feeling sitting on top of his chest was gone and he felt okay.
There was nothing wrong with him, the suffocation feelings were gone, his mind was at ease again and ... only bl**d was left behind.

His back to the wall, Jeonghan stared blankly into the horizon of what the room had to offer. Beyond the white walls and the blue sky through the window. He was alone but he wasn't scared like used to, the world seemed to have stopped for a moment and so did his mind.

He couldn't move, he blinked at the warm feeling that trailed down his forearms. His own bl**d trailing down his fingers and dripping into the floor.

He used to like the campus life, he used to like his courses, he used to love going out with his friends and he used to feel butterflies everytime he saw his crush. But not anymore, not since that night. He was holding the secret for far too long, he tried to keep himself together but it was just too much.

He lost track of time and soon, he lost track of the world around him. He heard his name being called loudly but he didn't care less, everything was too blurry and too distant ... he bled out too much, it should be over soon ... or so he thought.

It was quiet and warm all around him ... oh no, the feelings were back.

He cracked his eyes open but soon remembered what he did and why he did it.
His eyes immediately watered and his breaths began to rise painfully. He gasped for air and there comes that voice again, his name being called mixed with the beeping sounds of the machines he was hooked into.

Joshua?

Joshua was his roommate and best friend since day one in the campus.
Oh no ... was he the one who found him? His eyes looked tired, was he crying? Of course he was *What have you done Jeonghan?* he asked himself panicking internally and as if he forgot how to breathe, he started crying uncontrollably.

Joshua was pushed aside, doctors and nurses crowded Jeonghan and soon, he was again put to sleep. He was shaking and afraid, pushing everything and everyone away from him not wanting to be touched and the doctor couldn't calm him down, he had no other choice but to put him back to sleep before he hurts himself again.

Joshua sat there with a blank mind for hours. Yes, he found his roommate in a pool of his own blood two days ago and no one knows why. He was shook to his core and spent the last two days crying his eyes out.

Mingyu and Seungcheol came running a while later. Joshua called Dokyeom crying again, Jeonghan woke up but he was shocking and he couldn't even talk to him. Dokyeom had to take him out of the room and calm him down while Mingyu and Seungcheol were watching over Jeonghan.

"He's okay now Jisoo, look at me" Dokyeom cupped his boyfriend's cheeks and held him closer "He'll be okay I promise, we will be here for him when he wakes up, I'm sure he'll be okay"

But Joshua was blinded by the sight of his best friend sitting on the floor of their shared aprons with blood dripping down his fingers. He thought he lost him forever and he doesn't know how things will be like from now on.

Mingyu sat by Jeonghan's hospital bed. Jeonghan was breathing softly, he swallowed down his tears seeing the way Jeonghan's arms were bandaged around the wrists and up to his forearm.
He looked so thin and pale, his eyes sunken and tired. How couldn't they see this coming? He was suffering and no one had a clue.