Stay Strong Seventeen

Jeonghan

"I'm sorry" he mumbled in his sleep a little too loud waking up the others sleeping next to him.

After a long week, the Vocal unit decided to have a sleepover. They spent the night together scrambled in the living room, watching movies and enjoying yummy food.
They ended up sleeping smashed all together on the floor, wrapped in cozy blankets and continuous giggles.

Jeonghan was a bit quite the entire night, Seungkwan asked him a few times if he was okay and he received the same answer "It's been a long week, I'm just tired"

They fell asleep a bit later than usual, they were having fun until Jeonghan started whimpering in his sleep a few hours later.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled, his breaths a bit unsteady, eyes closed and face frowning. He looked uncomfortable and Joshua didn't know what to do.

"Hanni? Wake up, it's okay it's just a dream"

"I'm sorry" he mumbled again

Joshua was fully awake now, he sat up and tried to take a closer look at Jeonghan laying next to him.
"What are you sorry about?" He frowned when he didn't get a reply, looking at him up close Jeonghan was paler than usual mumbling his apology over and over again like he was delusional.

Joshua shook him a little " it's okay buddy wake up can you look at me can you hear me?" But Jeonghan didn't seem to be responding.
The noise woke up Dokyeom on the other side of Jeonghan. He blinked and tried to understand what was happening

"Hannie? Jeonghan come on wake up" Dokyeom heard Joshua softly call

"What's going on?" He asked a bit worried

"He's having a nightmare of some kind but he's not waking up"

Dokyeom sat up from where he was lying down with Jeonghan being sandwiched between him and Joshua. He reaches hand to play with Jeonghan's hair, pushing it a little bit behind his ears, and caressing his cheeks, urging him to wake up, which, surprisingly he did.
Jeonghan flattered his eyes open, he looked around for a second, trying to recollect his thoughts. He wasn't sure why the others woke him up at first but soon realized the reason.

"I'm sorry" he said one last time and sat up

"Stop apologizing" Joshua coed and held his friend closer "Do you want to talk about it?" He only hoped that Jeonghan would open up to him and tell him what was on his mind that's bothering him so much.

"Nothing much Shua thanks" Jeonghan whispered over Joshua's shoulder feeling exhausted and tired. He slid off Joshua's shoulder and back to his pillow, he saw the worried look over Dokyeom's face as he did and simply smiled weakly reassuring him that he's alright.

He tried to go back to sleep but the moment he does, he would wake up again mumbling the same sentence again
"I'm sorry"

Eventually, Seungkwan and Jihoon woke up as well when Joshua and Dokyeom couldn't stay as quiet anymore brining Jeonghan out of his nightmares every hour or so. He finally gave up on going back to sleep and simply laid there, his eyes fixed on the ceiling and blinking his exhaustion slowly.

Joshua by his side tucked him tightly and tried to persuade to go back to sleep or at least tell him what's wrong but Jeonghan wouldn't talk to anybody he simply kept staring into space until sunrise.

Morning came and Jeonghan looked and felt horrible. The boys seemed to get more sleep but he couldn't, he apologized over and over again for giving them a hard time on their off day when they should be resting.
It wasn't his fault really and they knew that.

They woke up late but they already agreed to meet the rest of the members for a late lunch. Jeonghan looked paler than ever and was too tired to go anywhere

"You guys go ahead, tell them I'm sorry I couldn't join"

"Are you sure you're okay staying alone?" Jihoon asked worried about the older

"I'll be fine Hoon, it's nothing really, I'll sleep it off"

It was simply unusual, Jeonghan looked weak and distant. Joshua eyed him closely before he decided that he won't go anywhere when Jeonghan looked like about to faint. He sent the others off and went back to sit by Jeonghan's side.

"Why are you still here?" Jeonghan asked a bit confused

"I'm not going" Joshua replied rather too quickly and too confident with his choice leaving Jeonghan puzzled
"Hannie I want to ask you something"

Joshua got closer holding Jeonghan's hand into his own and saw as the other nodded

"I don't like this" he reached his hand to play along Jeonghan's hair "You don't look okay, is something bothering you?"

Jeonghan kept quiet, he was taken aback by Joshua's question. He didn't know how to answer that, his eyes watered and he held back his tears but gave no answer.
Joshua noticed and frowned deeply
"Oh Jeonghan I'm sorry ... I didn't mean to upset you" Joshua said and just a second later, Jeonghan's tears fell over his cheeks and Joshua felt guiltier than ever.

He brought Jeonghan closer in his arms and tightly wrapped his hands around him. He heard the other sob over his shoulder and it broke his heart
"Please tell me what's wrong? What happened?"

Joshua asked and Jeonghan wasn't able to reply back ... not yet anyways. It was only a while later that his breaths calmed down and felt a bit more comfortable to talk.

"Joshua ... I" Jeonghan trailed and Joshua had all his focus and attention on him
"I don't know how to say this but ..."

"It's okay, take your time I'm here" Joshua was holding Jeonghan both sides. His hands securing Jeonghan's shoulders gently.

"It hurts"

Joshua frown got deeper "What hurts?" He asked
Jeonghan looked down at his own body, his hand playing around the fabric of his shirt

"This"

He revealed his torso to Joshua and he gasped in shock and disbelief. His eyes widened and just couldn't believe the many bruises Jeonghan had planted over his body.

"And I'm so sorry but I can't anymore"

"Jeonghan" Joshua's voice was strained and shocked "How did this happen? How did you get all of these" he looked up to face Jeonghan. Face pale, teary eyes and trembling lips, the boy only repeated the words he was saying in his dream "I'm sorry"

"Don't be afraid" Joshua shushed him and gently stroke his side arms "Jeonghan tell me please" he pleaded for an answer

"No matter what I do it's never enough for him"

"WHAT? WHO? DO WHAT?"

Jeonghan's trembling lips uttered the name that shocked Joshua even more. It was familiar, he knew the person, of course, they spent countless hours with him and he betrayed them

"He did this to you?" Joshua was shocked beyond words and his breaths got stuck in his throat when he saw Jeonghan nodding.

"How? When?"

"Practice" ... "Every time we're alone"

Joshua's eyes and face reflected nothing but shock and pain. He eyed his friend with the softest look he ever had and wiped the tears that rolled down his cheeks to his jaw.

"I'm sorry"

Joshua simply engulfed him in a tight hug once again "Never be sorry" ... "But HE will be ... he'll be sorry for what he has done to you, I'll make sure of it"