𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐀 | klaus mikaelson

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 57 'ʙɪᴛᴛᴇʀsᴡᴇᴇᴛ & ᴀᴜʀᴏʀᴀ'

Thana POV

My mind was in a loop. I couldn't even think straight when every moment the thought of my death came up.

I knew that no one could escape or avoid his death, yet here I sat at the bar knowing that this child would be the end of me. And when I thought of the child, a smile found its way to my lips. I couldn't help but care for this child.

I may not know the date or place of my end, but I knew the reason... the purpose. And suddenly the world wasn't so dark, nor did the thought of being a mother for a few months seem so terrible. A single question weighed on my mind.

What color would her eyes be?

Will she have my blue-gray eyes, the color of the rocks on the beach or the sky during a cloudy winter? Or her father's blue-green eyes, the color of deep woods after a rain or a pond full of secrets?

I wasn't sure which eyes I'd rather she inherited, the eyes that were the first I loved or the first eyes I fell in love with.

Still, I knew it wouldn't matter, but my mind only created more questions. Would she inherit my straight black hair, or her father's curly dark blonde hair? Would she be calm and composed with her emotions, or would she inherit her father's temperament? Will she be sarcastic? How will she dress? Will she have her father's ego?

And the more questions I asked myself, the more I realized I wouldn't have a chance to get to know her. I'll never tell her my side of the story, how I met her father, or what an ass he was. I'll never be able to hug her and tell her how much I care about her.

All I knew was that when I left her in this world, she wouldn't be alone. She would have uncles and aunts to spoil and protect her and a father who would love her more than anything and a grandfather who would be her sidekick for pranks. They will all remind her child that her mother will always be by her side, watching over her.

This loop of thoughts brought tears to my eyes, maybe it was the hormones or a strange sensation I couldn't identify whenever I touched my stomach and felt warmth.

''Mon amour?" the thoughts stopped and my eyes shot to the ones I had fallen in love with months ago, if not at the very beginning of my existence. His lips parted into a small hesitant smile.

I saw his gaze slide to the glass in front of me, but before he could say anything or object, I beat him to it. ''Don't worry, it's tea, not bourbon. I'm not reckless...'' I said hesitantly. I still didn't know what he thought of all this, but I still wanted him to know I wasn't reckless on the topic.

''I'm sorry,'' he blurted out, surprising me with his apology, I didn't even know he was supposed to apologize for any of this. He stepped closer ''...if I ever made you feel that I had doubts about you.'' He stroked my cheek. ''I never thought you were inconsiderate, I just wanted to check on you. Because if I'm honest... I'm scared.''

''Nik-''

''No please, let me finish,'' he interrupted with sad eyes as he took my hands in his. ''I know I reacted badly before and before you say anything you have sympathy for me, no. Sure I'm scared that I'm going to be a bad father to our child, but I don't want this fear to take everything away from me because I'm scared. I'm gonna lose you and then I don't know what to do because if I lose you, I lose myself. And I know that whenever I look at our child, there will be a piece of you that will bring me back to be better for our child,'' his eyes were filled with tears. ''You, my love, are my everything and now you give me so much more.''

''Nik-'' I wanted to comfort him somehow, but I couldn't form the words. I expected him to be angry and for us to argue because he was against the idea of me dying if I had our baby, but he wasn't. He's trying to deal with it because he doesn't want me to have to choose. It may have broken me more than if he had forced me to stay or abort to keep me longer.