proud// 5SOS

10

Esme

Dad had decided to climb into my bed and gently scratch my back since I wouldn't sleep, and it did work, but I woke up again when Link climbed in instead. He wrapped his arms round me and kissed my cheek, down to my shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

"It's been a long day. I am gonna sleep,"

"Okay. I love you,"

"I love you too,"

Once I was in his arms, I drifted off to sleep, and stayed asleep all night. I felt so guilty, but he was my person, and he was the one I had confided in through literally the toughest year of my life. There was such a unique bond, and kind of trust in our relationship that made me feel safe, and listened to.

When I woke up in the morning, he was already awake, and smiled at me when I looked up. I smiled back, then sighed, rubbing my eyes.

"Your dad makes the best pancakes ever,"

"Yeah, he does,"

"You slept well,"

"Cos you were here,"

"I can't come every night,"

"I wish,"

"I know, me too," he said, "Do you feel any better?"

"Not really. Well, of course I am so happy to be back home, but it's been so long. Something is different and I don't know what,"

"I hope it feels better soon. Wanna go and get pancakes? I could eat another,"

"Yeah. Okay,"

We walked downstairs holding hands, and dad gave us a smile when we went into the kitchen, which he had just cleaned up.

"More pancakes are in order,"

"It's okay, I can just have toast,"

"I'll make you pancakes, lovebug,"

"One more for me too, please,"

"I'll bring them to the lounge,"

"Thank you,"

We sat on the sofa together, my arm against his, then dad brought us the pancakes and left us some toppings, then went back to the kitchen. Link helped me make mine up, then I silently ate them.

Dad did make the best pancakes. He used to make them for me before gymnastics, and I would eat them while he tugged my hair back into a bun. Even when I was 16. I was so incredibly lucky to have a dad who treated me like a princess, and now a boyfriend who did, but it also made me feel quite stressed that I didn't feel completely at home here. I knew dad would always do anything for me, yet I seemed to feel quite insecure.

What if the new version of me wasn't what he wanted? I used to be kind of quiet, I didn't really have best friends, and I definitely never came close to having a boyfriend. It felt like he knew a different version of me.

I got lost in my thoughts for a while, then Link snapped me out of them by asking if I wanted to go for a drive, which I did. We stuck music on and went to get a coffee, then sat in the parking lot as I was not dressed nicely all.

"Maybe school will help? It's something normal," he offered.

"Maybe. You and my dad get along,"

"Yeah, he seems cool,"

"At least we both get on with each others parents,"

"I was hella nervous,"

"He loves you," I giggled, "Thank you for being here for me,"