Vol. 3.5-9: THE JOKER

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I didn't talk to her again after that.

I spent the next few months wanting nothing more than to either kill myself, get high, or get drunk. Unfortunately, I'm not able to do any of those things. I considered undertaking a completely new identity and moving to Kuwait, but Kronos was a different problem, and I didn't allow myself to just turn my back on my friends.

His attacks slowly began escalating, but he never targeted Camp or Olympus directly. We realized he was saving up for the Big Bang. Still, we made sure to stay on alert. Campers were tracking his forces, taking in reports, getting into random skirmishes. We noticed that monsters stopped randomly attacking your average demigod. The monsters were attacking us when we were in groups. If we were alone, they wanted to recruit us to Luke's side. If we refused, then they killed us.

I say us because I've been pretending to be dozens of different demigods.

It's very easy. You just have to wear said demigods' clothes, so you have their stench, and shapeshift into said demigod! It's very easy. As far as the Titans know, they have re-recruited Chris Rodriguez, killed Jake Mason, lost to Clarisse in battle, blah blah blah. It doesn't do much, but it's funny to see a monster get confused when they see me and think Hey! I thought that kid was on our side! and then I kill them and laugh and then cry because I miss Annabeth.

That's the one point I kept coming back to. Hockey season was over, so we mostly played little fun games, but Percy and I agreed not to do hockey next year. I knew I wouldn't be around next year. This summer, Percy was turning sixteen. One way or another, the fate of the world would be decided. If it went in our favor, I would leave and let my friends grow up without me. If it went in Kronos's favor, Percy would be dead, so no hockey. I had no idea what would be left of me if Kronos won the war. Maybe I could convince Melinoe to let me die once and for all.

It was really sad the longer I thought about it. No matter what happened, I wouldn't have my friends next year. Percy kept trying to talk me into it, tell me that I can wait until he at least graduates high school. Sixteen is only one year older than fifteen. Seventeen is only one year older than sixteen. He would graduate when he was eighteen, which was only three years, really.

But I told him no. Because if I see Percy turn eighteen, I don't really know what I'll do.

I told him that I won't be able to handle it once he's officially older than me. He'll be sixteen in August, and in August, when Percy turns sixteen, the balance of the world will tip one way or another. I'm praying it goes in our favor, so my friends can grow up and become architects or swim teachers or whatever the fuck they want. And that'd be nice. But I can't let myself be there for all of that, despite how much Percy and Grover have been begging me.

The one that seemed to understand my struggle the most was actually Thalia. After all, she's immortal. She never did get to turn sixteen, just like me. Of course, she still has a heartbeat and needs food and things like that, whereas I don't. But, all of our friends will eventually outgrow us. It's almost comforting to talk to her, except for the fact that I'm unconditionally in love with Annabeth Chase, and Thalia has decided to shun all matters of romance. That's what hurts.

The only person I can talk to about that is Grover. I don't talk to Percy about it, since he's kind of an imp when it comes to women and emotions, so a woman with a lot of emotions sends him into some sort of overdrive and he starts blabbing about a clump of earwax he pulled out or something.

νεκρός || Annabeth Chase x Fem!OCWhere stories live. Discover now