His Only

Chapter 46

Been asleep for a whole day no one dared to wake her up. She was very much out of her drunken state and sober enough to gasp when she woke up and found where she had been sleeping. 

She thought she was asleep in her own room like she had been for the past few weeks of drinking. 

Clearing her blurry vision; she looked around to find herself in her deceased son's room. Tears clouded her eyes when she picked up the fallen toys from the box. In his cot a large oversized teddy bear was placed.

She walked to it and cuddled the bear tightly taking a sniff at it. More tears poured from her eyes when she started to think of her bump. How the little man used to move a lot causing so much pain and disturbance especially in the middle of the night when he wasn't comfortable in his position. 

"Por qué tuviste que dejarme tan pronto Riase?" _Why did you have to leave me so soon Riase?_ She cried into the stuffed animal, it was her gift to him before he arrived. She didn't think such a terrible nightmare would occur in her labor.

"I was so happy! You were mine!" she fell to her knees still crying, "We were going to grow together. I was ready to give you the world! I built and empire for you. Why leave?" she shouted out looking up,

"Why is it that when I finally find happiness you always take it from me" she shouted to whatever god that controlled her fate,

It was true. Whenever she felt happy it was taken from her.

She felt content staying with Ricardo. But her troubles with her home forced her to leave.

She was pregnant and finally excited for the change in her life. To have a baby to love, a baby who'd one day rule the underworld, given both parents of his were strong Mafias.

But that too taken from her. She only delivered a still born.

Whenever she reached happiness she found it taken. She knew she didn't deserve it but some part of her yearned for it.

She slept on the ground once again cuddling the bear. She didn't know how long it was but she had been crying all day. She told herself to be strong, but she couldn't. She failed herself. She was a disgrace to herself.

But another part didn't care about it. This part wanted to cry more, wanted to make it rain and let itself stand under the thunderstorm, have it struck itself and leave a lifeless sense.

This part was her suicidal side speaking.

She felt, a woman failed to birth a newborn was a disgraceful woman who didn't deserve to live.

Leaving the grief at bay she slowly got up wiping the tears from her eyes, she looked inside another box and found clothes she had bought for him. Immediately she took her phone out calling two of her girls.

"Miss you called" one of them knocked immediately making Kaitlyn get up and fix her shirt.

"Yes. Take these boxes and have Mark distribute it among the folks. A lot of them are still with tags. Winter will arrive soon, their children will need it more" the two girls nodded and started to carry the boxes out,

By the time the girls were done the entire room was cleared out, besides the cupboards and the furniture the room was nothing.

Kaitlyn touched the sheets of her baby boy's cot before removing them and giving space for the girls to take the cot away. Tears came to her eyes when she saw everything built by her father taken out the door.

Part of her heart was taken out, she looked around and it only left the entire room dull.  

She knew she should leave and close the door before she breaks down again. With a heavy heart she pulled the door knob gently, the room's empty interior narrowing until it was covered by a wooden door.