Cyber ~ 5sos

e i g h t

It seems I physically can't do anything right. I thought it would help me but it didn't. I pushed the only family I had left behind a fucking jail gate. The handcuffs shouldn't have been on him, they should have been on me, for my pathetic decisions.

I let him do this to me for a year and a bit, but I just thought it would stop. Who the fuck was I kidding?

Being interrogated was stressful enough, let alone watching my father curse at me while two policemen shoved him into a cell.

I did end up telling the police everything, but I can't go home. Even though it's my birthday in a few days, for those few days it still makes me under 18, meaning I can't physically own the house.

But either way, at least I knew i would be away from the vile human I was forced to call my father.

I look across the waiting area to see Molly with her hands all caught up in her hair, tugging in frustration as her parents sat the other side of the wall talking to the police.

Since there was no other family I had left to care for me, Molly's family was my personal preference. Her parents had acted like mine since the day I stepped foot in that household.

Of course my brother could take care of me, I wouldn't want to put that much stress on him since he's still studying at University.

Plus I doubt he would even know what to do if it were just me and him, he'd probably silently sit there, wondering how all of this could have fucked up this bad. But that makes two of us.

I look down at my lap, trying to distract myself from the consuming awkwardness in the room, it was never my intention to become the centre of attention in this whole situation. I wish people could just accept it and move on. Because I'm fine... I'm fine..

Right?

My phone vibrates harshly in my back pocket, causing it to emphasise the sound against the plastic seat I was currently sat on.

Everyone's heads snapped up in annoyance and I mouth a 'sorry' around before shoving my hand in my back pocket and fumbling with my phone.

Once I bring it out, messages flash up on the screen.

Ecstacyrush: Oh how cute... The slag makes everyone feel sorry for her so it can numb just some of the guilt she feels inside for being a whore.

Ecstacyrush: I guess people never change eh

I'm instantly taken back by what stares back at me on the screen. It somehow occurs to me that everything she/he has said has been true, I'm so fucked up in the head I was just too oblivious to realise it.

Grey0mnivore: I guess you're right...

Ecstacyrush: Then why do you bring down everyone else around you, knowing fully what you're doing to them?

I sit there, completely speechless as what to say, because yet again, they were right.

I hadn't been benefiting anyone by turning my father in, all I did was put pressure on Molly's parents, stress Molly out, make Ashton concerned, and make my father rot behind bars.

I was only doing it for me, It was all my fault.

'Bella?' Molly's dad, Jason, snaps me out of my thoughts, reeling me back to reality. 'You ready?' He asks, crouching down slightly. I don't need to be fucking treated like a kid, I'm okay, remember.

I sigh before standing up and brushing off the non existent dust from my legs. 'Yeah' I sigh, looking over at Molly, who now seems to have loosened up a bit.