Ones In A Lifetime (Jelena)

Chapter 6

Justin's POV:

The morning LA sun was brightly shining through the thin curtains in the room. To minimize the brightness white sheets didn't help at all. Something weird was flowing through my body. Something I didn't felt in a long time. I was happy. I had that stupid grin plastered on my face. I was holding onto something really tightly like it is going to escape from my arms any time. I smelled her sent and I was home again. My heart was beating normal again and no wonder why I had this grin spread on my mouth.

I remember falling a sleep last night in our old room. Man that was hard.

After Rosie fell asleep in my arms I couldn't just leave her in her nursery and sleep on the really uncomfortable looking chair or leave her all alone so I can sleep in one of the comfortable beds, so I took her with me. I was going down the hall not thinking about where I'm heading to until I was standing in front of the door that were representing future ones. I was scared to open them because I didn't know what I will found on the other side. It is not the same as I left it 4 year ago. It possibly can not be. I was scared I will open the door and not recognize one little piece of the indoor decoration myself and Selena ones spend a lot of time putting together.

After standing there what seems like forever I finally turned the knock on the door revealing THE room. On the first sight I remembered everything from the very beginning and out first time in this room to the cuddling after a long day in studio or crying when we lost our dog till the last morning I spent here. All these memories brought me to the edge of tiers. I turn on the light revealing room in its glory. Nothing changed. All of our pictures with huge smiles were still on the same spot. The same silky soft white bed setting was on with huge purple decorative pillows.

I put sleeping beauty on the middle of the bed and went to our walk in closet. I stand in a middle and looked around. I was shocked everything was in its own place. Like time stopped in this room. I saw little notebook on the Selena's makeup vanity. It was her diary from when I was gone. Slowly taking it in my hands I read...

'Dear God,

It has been 6 days since he is gone. 6 days since I didn't hear his voice or fell his touch and I think I'm going crazy. I wish he at least answers my text or phone calls. But I.. we are done. There is no more us....'

The writing continued and I quickly flip to the next pages trying to find something that will assure me she was happy. But next page make me broke even more.

'Dear God,

I have been suffering for 360 days now. Please make it stop. Please take the pain away. I can't eat or sleep or live properly. I know he is gone and he is not coming back, I know he moved on so why am I still here suffering. I stopped calling him long time ago but every time my phone goes off I hope his name will pop up but nothing. I know it is my fault that I'm now in pain and that he wouldn't do anything to hurt me but little light in my life would be nice. I'm in pain..'

I felt like out of this world. She was in pain because of me and I was not there to hold her. I never moved on. I couldn't. Every time I kissed some girl I was expecting HER lips and those butterfly to start flying again but nothing. It was just a pure pleasure and nothing else. After a good 45 minutes of sobbing in our closet I went and lay down next to Rose. The tiredness catch up with me really quick and I was off.

I opened my eyes and I saw her sleeping on my chest. I was the happiest I could ever be. I had my baby in my arms again.

My happiness was present until I saw the diamond ring on her right ring finger.

Ones again the darkness was flouting my body and she was slipping out of my fingers.

I needed to go...