Feel like dying | Seungmin

-27-

'Why do you always gotta be so selfish? Who are you talking to like that? Grow up and show some respect to people older than you. Why do you always have to be the problem?'

He heard Felix asking if he should talk with him, but the others told him to sit down again, and that he might need some space to calm down.

Seungmin went to the toiletroom, closed one of the doors and went to sit on the toilet lid. Tears fell down and he didn't know why, was it the fear of losing all these friends? Or was it because of everything that had happened to him the past few weeks, or anything else.

It took him a couple of seconds to understand that his breathing got worse and that he was having a panic attack.

So lame, now he makes it seem like it is the others fault too. He laid his head on his knees, just a second ago he had put both his legs on the toilet lid too.

'Breath normal, the five second stuff, how even did that go again? Five seconds in five seconds out.' He tried to do so, but gave up as soon as he only counted till three and that already went wrong. And even thinking about that made the panicking worse.

He tried to picture the two that had helped him before, but he had a hard time doing so. When he finally did imagine them standing in front of him, helping him, it became a bit easier to do what he had been told before.

He later walked out of the toilet room like nothing happened. The halls were empty, so that probably meant he had to go to class.

Firstly he walked towards the table in the cafeteria, his bag was still standing there. He took it with him and went to the library.

What did it matter, he either told school he felt sick so he went to sit here, or was late without an explanation.

The library was amazing, the colors of it gave a calmer feeling and the book covers were all so beautiful. He took one of the books out and started reading the back side, then put it back again.

He took the second book, he had looked at, with him and read it for the other two hours in the library.

"Hi Seungmin!" Felix walked over to him, "doing better?" Seungmin gave him a quick nod. When the four were together they walked home chatting about some random films they had seen.

When Seungmin walked alone he checked his phone. Some missing calls which were made at the end of the break and some -where are you- chats. He opened them and kept them unanswered, of course.

Just that second he saw Taeyeon had chatted him, just a few seconds ago. He should probably answer it when he is home.