Feel like dying | Seungmin

-30-

This was a different day. Seungmin felt nervous, the whole day through. He knew why.

School went so slow, He tried to not see his friends today. He skipped the classes he had with any of them, luckily those were only two of the seven classes he had to attend. Chats had come in, but he also ignored them.

Even those from Chungho, he wouldn't be able to answer his chats after this day anyways.

He didn't know why he was still here anyways. He could have done it in the morning.

He knew that there was only one person that would care, who might cry. That was the only thing holding him back. Because for that one precious girl, he felt so bad.

The bell rang. School was over, he walked away, fast. She was always there for him, even after the other 'incident'. He didn't know if she would cry again, telling him how she can't miss him.

It had been a nice little moment. Afterwards, she acted like it had never happened. Well other than making kind of sure he wasn't gonna try it again. It made him sad thinking about it. He put his bag on the ground of the bridge.

He wished he wasn't such a pain in the ass for the others. He wished he didn't have to hurt her anymore. But he didn't know what would hurt her more. If he was there, or if he wasn't.

He didn't know what was going to be better for him. Continuing this life or... cut it off right now. He laid his head on the steel beam of the bridge.

Thoughts running around his head. 'Which action to follow? what to do? What would Bongcha want him to do? He didn't know.'

Maybe she also began to hate him. At this point it looks like Bongcha is the older one. Seungmin got so happy seeing lower numbers on the scale. That he hadn't even noticed how bad it was for him.

Bongcha did. She would make Seungmin food. The first time, Seungmin came out of school, and she had this cupcake for him. Seungmin told her he didn't want it as he was full, and with her shiniest puppy eyes, she had looked at him. "Pleaseee," she had asked. So he had taken it.

And she did that ever since. The whole time when Seungmin came out of school she had something for him and begged him to eat it. She even started making him breakfast. Were for she had to get out of her bed earlier.

Seungmin told her that she should not go out of bed earlier, to make him breakfast. So she told him she would stop, if Seungmin would eat anything for breakfast.

Seungmin did. He saw how the just lowered numbers started to increase again. He tried to get the food out of him in any other way, but felt defeated as the numbers didn't lower that easily anymore.

He looked at the water. 'Let's do it'. He tried going further, until he noticed that he was out in the public, some eyes staring at him worried. He couldn't take that. He walked away with his bag.

'It might not be the time today, but it will be anytime soon, because... I feel like dying.'