Feel like dying | Seungmin

-29-

It was a Saturday evening. Normally Seungmin would just watch a film with Boncha, if she was there, or just lay down on the sofa. For his mom, this was a day to sleep, so he never really saw her on saturdays.

Seungmin looked in the mirror again, to check if his hair looked good. Then he looked at his own eyes, they seemed so empty and ugly. He wished they could look just like his sister's eyes do.

She always looked genuinely happy and if something did go wrong, she would be laughing about it afterwards. One of the only reasons he was even here today.

He checked his phone, he shall go now. He walked out of the door and shutted it behind him. He walked towards Jeongins house, where all of them would go, just to hang out.

He rang the doorbell, and it quickly got opened by Jeongin. "Hi, Seungmin how are you?" "I'm good, how about you?" He stepped inside. "Really?" Jeongin asked with a small disbelief in his tone, when he saw Seungmin wasn't going to answer, he talked further.

"I'm doing good. You are the first one here by the way. So sit on the sofa if you do like!"

Both of them walked towards the sofa, but before they sat the bell rang again, so Jeongin walked towards the door again. "Yeah, come inside." It seemed to sound much less enthusiastic than when Seungmin came in. Immediately after, he heard more voices of the others who were here.

Chungho came walking in. "Hi Minnie!" Immediately his pace fastened and he sat next to Seungmin, who felt pretty uncomfortable and tried to sit at the full end of the sofa. The others now also walked in, and took place on the sofa.

Jeongin asked what kind of drink he could get for the ones that were already here and went to the kitchen to get them. Bangchan walked behind Jeongin and later came back with two glasses filled with soda.

not much later the last two; Hyunjin and Jisung, also arrived and all of them chatted a bit. Well most of them, Chungho was loudly talking, but neither Seungmin nor Jeongin said a thing.

Chungho had his arm fully wrapped around Seungmins shoulder. When Felix began to talk, and Chungho finally shutted up, he laid his hand on Seungmin's leg. He then stood up and took his glass to drink the last sip that was in there.

When he sat again he whispered something in Seungmins ear. Seungmin looked at him confused, but when he saw the other being sirious he did what he was told to.

He sat on the other's lap, who softly went around Seungmins body with his hands. Seungmin was again frozen and didn't do anything. The worst was that the others saw it but probably thought it was normal for a boyfriend to do so.

He went home as one of the first ones. Told them his mom didn't want him to come home too late. Felix was hesitating to go too, as Seungmin would now walk alone in this dark night, but stayed as it had just been ten pm.

Seungmin said some small byes, and then left with tears in his eyes. He told himself that he is such a cry baby, but those words obviously didn't stop the tears from falling. To be honest, at this point, he didn't even know why he was crying.

He had been closer.