My Boyfriends- A Polyamorous Love Affair

chapter 12

So Phuwin may or may not be avoiding everyone, including his boyfriends - not so much Fourth because he doesn't want his sweet Fotfot to sulk at him but he has been in self imposed seclusion for the past two days. What Joong told him had thrown him off the loop and had him thinking hard.

First of all, Pond is his best friend whom he adores with every bone in his body. There was once a time he had a big crush on Pond, that was during the Fish Upon The Sky era- Pond was his first kiss and it was perfect - however he got over that crush once he found out that Pond had a girlfriend. It was hard to get over Pond, but he did, and they remained friends, the best.

However with the realisation of the fact that Pond might be in love with him has him questioning a lot of his life choices. He wonders when Pond fell in love with him. He wonders if all those drunk texts of Pond telling him how much he loves him and asking him not to leave him had to do with the fact that Pond is in love with him.

If he had found out about Pond's feelings two years ago, he would have been probably the happiest person alive. Now he has to figure out if he is really over Pond.

Pond makes him happy, and he is the one person patient enough to deal with his moods. Pond makes him laugh, genuinely laughing, and Pond makes him feel warm and safe.

So the past two days have revealed to him that he might not be over Pond like he thought he was, that his feelings for the older had not faded and probably never faded. He just pushed them deep down within his core and tried to forget about them.

This revelation has left him in a very depressing mood because his situation right now is complicated. He is in a relationship with two amazing me who he loves. He loves Gemini, but if he is being honest with himself, he is not in love with Gemini, deeply infatuated? definitely, love? Absolutely, but he can't really say he is in love with Gemini. He is also pretty sure Gemini feels the same. Their love was only conjured up by the mutual love they had for Fourth. If Fourth wasn't in the equation the they would have not ended up together.

But then there's Fourth. Phuwin truly believes he is in love with Fourth. He is drawn to Fourth like a flower is to the sun. He wants to protect him, make him smile, laugh, and in general make him happy. Fourth had burrowed his way into Phuwin's heart and taken residence of it.

But Phuwin can not truly ignore his feelings for Pond. Pond is, after all, his first love, his gay awakening. He can't just go back to being just friends after knowing that his love is not unrequited. That after all these years of pining and yearning can come to fruition. Him and Pond have undeniable chemistry. It would be a waste if he didn't pursue it.

But if he is to pursue it, he would be hurting the two people he loves. Mostly, Fourth, he knows Gemini would be hurt but will get over it. However, his heart aches at the mere thought of breaking Fourth's heart. He would rather carve out his own heart and serve it on a silver platter to Fourth that break Fourth's heart.

He knows he can't ignore the world forever as much as he would like to. Also, Fourth said he is coming over tonight to give him some well-deserved love and care. Fourth is too good for him, which makes him love him even more.

This whole thing is a shit show, and Phuwin hates it so much! He lowkey just wants to snuggle up to Fourth and breathe in his flowery sweet scent that is just exclusive for Fourth and forget about everything.

Fourth does arrive after a few hours, and Phuwin didn't have time to get his shit together, let alone take a shower. He knows he looks awful because he hasn't been able to get a proper sleep or even eat a proper meal.

"Hia! You look awful." Is the first thing Fourth says to him before he gave him a bone-crushing hug. The one that says,'I know something is up. So I am going to hug you extra tight so that you know I am here for you.' And Phuwin loves him even more for that. How can one person be so amazingly wonderful, pure, and sweet.