Leave It All Behind - Katsuki Bakugo x reader

Leave It All Behind

You woke up for the second time that morning, staring at the ceiling as footsteps creaked down the halls of that hold house of yours. No one spoke a word, everyone too scared to break the agreed upon silence. 

Walking to your dresser, you grabbed one of the only outfits left, then without a word to your father or brother, you walked out of the house to the only place you could think to go. You went to your spot. You had been their countless times since Umito had died, but this was different. That night still fresh in your mind, you didn't know how you'd take it. 

Walking up the steep hill, it almost felt like the days you'd walk up it with Katsuki. Or did walking up it with Katsuki remind you of your time with Umito. You missed Katsuki, but your time in your old town had to mean something. 

Feet slipping on the dew graced moss, it was almost as if nature was trying to keep you away. The remembrance of gun shots rung in your mind as you tried to push it all back. Ever since his death, you had refused to accept it. 

Then making it up to the ledge, you felt it all hit you. Everything you had been pushing back. You remembered making pumpkin muffins with his grandmother, every day that you had raced up that hill, every promise you made. The two of you promised to marry each other, to spend the rest of your lives together. 

Looking at the town tattered and torn pillow cover flag, you picked up the lock box sitting at its base. With the old key you always wore, you opened the rusted lock, gasping at its contents. 

His first homerun baseball, a pack of seeds the two of you planned to use to start a garden, a pair of interlinked rings made from old spoons you promised to never separate. You wanted to take it all. Take it all home with you. But the seeds had sprouted and so had you, and you knew it was time to let him go. So dropping in your old key necklace, you locked the box one last time. 

You sobbed, realizing what had just occurred. You didn't want to forget, you were so scared to, and maybe you never would, but you needed it. You needed to move on because if you didn't there would be no future for you.

Soft footsteps reached your place, and you recognized the boots as they swung over the edge. Your father, still grieving your mother, knew why you were there. And in a different way, he realized what you'd been feeling all that time, and he finally found the words to say.

"I miss him so much," you sobbed, reaching out and hugging him. 

"I do too," he whispered, rubbing circles on your back. You sat there for nearly an eternity, watching the sun rise over that seemingly cursed town. You never wanted to come back, suddenly, it seemed like there was nothing left for you there. 

A shiver ran down your spine as you realized that this was acceptance. It was scary, but it was real. Leaving the flag standing firm in the ground, your father grabbed your hand like a little girl as you grabbed the box by it's hand. 

Picking out wildflowers on the walk down like you and Umito had done just five summers before, you made a small bouquet, and went to the graveyard. Walking through the large metal gates, you let out a breathy sigh, setting the contents and the flowers rest by his headstone. Then, picking out any weeds that had grown, and dusting it off, you gave it one final look before leaving it all behind. 

-----

That day was your mother's funeral. It was very quick with just your family and Mrs. Oohashi. That night, you cried to her, telling her everything that you had done that day. It was her grandson after all. You explained the massive guilt you felt by forgetting everything that happened, but she reassured you. 

"My grandson loved you with his whole heart, I can say that for certain. He wouldn't want you to stay here, he'd want you to live. I know he'd be so beyond happy that you're making this dream happen for the both of you," she smiled, embracing you with nothing but love. "But you did the right thing by letting him go. Just know, that as long as you live, his memory lives on through you. He gave up his life so you could live, he knew what he was doing, and he knew you'd make it in this world."

-----

Later that night, you packed up any remaining articles of clothing left in that house and left for the train station. You hugged everyone goodbye, your father, uncle, Mrs. Oohashi, your neighbors. They all went to see you off.

You thought of an old, framed photo of you and Umito hugging under the summer sun. How it sat on your old wooden dresser, the only thing left in your old room, and how on that cool summer night, you decided to leave it all behind. 

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A/N: IMPORTANT!!!! Bro, if you guys didn't notice, the line "But the seeds had sprouted and so had you," is a reference to her acceptance of the situation. So the seeds are actually symbolic of you, basically after so long you realized that you'd grown away from what happened, and not taking what was inside was a symbolic for acceptance and realizing you had to move on to put his memory at rest. Just thought I'd explain because I LOVE using symbolism. 

Last thing, I really was debating if I should have (y/n) leave the photo behind or not. Ultimately, I decided that she realized she didn't need it because she had him with her. I also Imagine it'd be a painful decision on her part, because this hurt to write, but I love it so much. But I feel like she needed to leave it behind for the purpose of the story for her to fall in love with Katsuki, which is obviously the ultimate objective in this story. IDK tell me what you guys think. 

Also this actually had me crying editing it. I was listening to Gilded Lily by the cults. I lost it when Mrs. Oohashi was talking at the funeral. Also IK i haven't updated in a while, but stuff happens yk, and updates will be slow for a bit.