"He just stood and looked at his dying mother, his heart too full of words" - As I Lay Dying
Okay so, I had to read "As I Lay Dying" (which if you don't know is an incredibly fucked up book) for school while writing this, and I forgot how tragic and depressing this chapter is so good luck TT.
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You held your brother tightly as he slept on the train. Looking out the window, you counted the minutes until that dreaded town came into vision. It was just barely dusk when you arrived, Mrs. Oohashi sitting and waiting patiently on the platform.
You embraced her tightly after coming off the train, a few tears slipping down your cheek. You were so glad she had been there to greet you instead of your father. You don't know what you would've said.
"I know," Mrs. Oohashi said, trying to sound as positive as possible. "I know how you feel about your mother, and I know she's the last person you want to see right now. The two of you are all she asked for. She loves you both so much despite what she's done, and despite how you feel," she reasoned, giving you the hard, honest truth like she always had.
"I know. I just wish none of this ever turned out like this," you said, tears now streaming now your face. Kousei, confused on how he should even feel, held tightly to your coat. You didn't blame him; you didn't blame anyone really.
Slowly, you walked to your home alongside Mrs. Oohashi. You found yourself dreading seeing that woman. You didn't feel a motherly connection to her, but still, you knew it would hurt seeing her in such a state.
Mrs. Oohashi explained the situation. Your mother's cancer, of course, came back full force, spreading throughout her entire body. She didn't have long and chose to spend her remaining days at a once familiar place.
You walked up the creaky wooden steps and entered through the tattered screen door. You felt a strong pain in your heart as everything came to you at once. So many lost memories, so many painful ones.
So many days, running in and out the house, chasing Umito wherever you went. Why was he popping into your head then? You had no idea. Memories of leaving the house to go on long walks with your family, the weekly baking lessons with Mrs. Oohashi, helping out behind the counter at your uncle's hardware shop. None of it made sense. You were supposed to be thinking about your mom. But all thoughts silenced as you saw her ghostly figure laying on the couch.
She let out a hoarse cough blood coming up and splashing on the sheets. She gave you a wide, weak smile. You wanted to curl up and disappear. She looked at the empty chair beside your father, prompting you to sit down.
You sat, hands resting on your lap, and she stared into your eyes with a ghostly presence. It was like she was wasting away with every second. Then, reaching out with a ghostly, bony hand, she let out a deep sigh.
You felt the cold, the pain. There was nothing left of her to see. Just a barely breathing corpse.
"So," she started. Her words were so weak, it was like there was no more air in her lungs to support them. "I heard about your hero licensing exam, tell me about it," she smiled, holding your hand a little bit tighter.
"Well, it was interesting," you started, still tense. Beginning to explain it, you fell into a sort of rhythm. Her thumb brushed up against your hand with every word, and you began to sink into comfort. Then, you told her everything.
Everything about Junichiro, about Katsuki. You told her about school, the good and bad. The villain attack and the sports festival. She watched as you transparently poured your heart out, and then you cried.
Not just cried, you sobbed, clutching onto her as she only slipped farther.
"Are you really leaving me again?" you said, trying to hold back the tears long enough to talk.
Tears poured out of her empty sockets. Those hollow eyes attempting to provide you some sort of comfort, only to push you farther into sadness. She didn't dare answer the question. There was nothing she could say that would provide you any comfort.
"I know," she started, voice strained as she tried to stay strong, just a little longer. "I Know I wasn't the mother I could have been, but you must know, I'm so unbelievably proud of you. You've grown up into the young woman I've always hoped you'd be. I wish I could have seen more of you, just know you'll always be my baby, and no matter what happens I'll always love you," she smiled once more before you let go of her hand and ushering Kousei over before walking out of the room.
Once out of sight, all you could think to do was run out the door. Running behind the house, you threw up in the yellow, dead lawn before collapsing to the ground. It was all too much. You couldn't seem to control your tears as you grabbed onto the grass and your side.
Your head hurt so bad. You wanted to believe it was all temporary, but it was more than that.
Your father kneeled by your side, and without any words, rubbed your back to provide at least the smallest amount of comfort. A part of you wished you'd die alongside her. For it all to just end. You couldn't lose anyone else.
"When I learned I had this power, I'd never been more let down," you sobbed, grabbing your heart as you choked on your tears. "Why couldn't it have come to me back then, why?" you cried harder. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"
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It took you so long to bring yourself to go back inside, and by the time you did, she had already passed. You knew then and there she had hung on until she had said her peace. Then, in the house that seemed to be almost haunted, you slept in your old bed, in that old empty room, filled with so many ghosts.
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A/N: DAMN, THAT WAS A LOT ALL AT ONCE! Also, you guys will probably hate me and want to kill me for this next chapter.
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Leave It All Behind - Katsuki Bakugo x reader
Fanfiction(y/n) Tsuchiya, a confident aspiring young hero, must learn to let go of the past in order to find new meaning, and only then will she see that what she was looking for was right beside her, every step of the way. ...
