say don't go | heejake

2.03

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"hey jay! we got new neighbors! they're pretty nice, one of them's from japan!" heeseung said over the phone the following evening.

"really? how'd you know? i thought you were at your parents like every friday," jay responded.

"i didn't go this weekend. they weren't too happy with me last week. i just bumped into them and helped them get to their dorm and it turns out it is the one next to mine!"

"wait, why would your parents be unhappy with you?"

"beats me. i only told them i was quitting my job and that i had enough money but wasn't going to go anymore. my mom went all quiet and dad started giving me disapproving looks."

heeseung could hear the facepalm jay gave himself.

"what do you mean you have enough money? why are you still here then?!" jay questioned raising his voice.

"hey, chill! damn why is everyone attacking me lately? first jungwon, then my parents and now you."

"you're seriously asking this question? heeseung, have you completely forgotten about—

"no. i haven't. how could i ever? but i might as well try, right?" heeseung interrupted jay.

jay sighed heavily. "i thought you still liked him."

heeseung chuckled emotionless, "of course i do, these past years have been torture. but he left without even saying goodbye, how am i supposed to go looking for him being all desperate and hung up on him? and humiliate myself some more? not my kind of thing."

jay stayed silent for a few moments.

"guess it isn't fair for you, heeseung. i didn't know it had happened like that, i had a somewhat different version of the story."

"really? and who told you, jungwon? him?" heeseung accused.

"yeah, something like that. anyway, i've got the list of movies, the ones you will like."

heeseung thanked the change of subject. he didn't know how much longer he had to hold back his tears.

"alright, thanks. send it to me. bye."

heeseung hung up and let his phone fall to the floor. his back against the couch, he rested his head on the seat and just let himself cry. if he had learned something from this experience it was that when he felt the urge to cry, he would.

the silent room made him feel even worse.

there really was no one he could go to for comfort, and heeseung thought it was so unfair. he wasn't stupid, he knew jungwon stayed in touch with him. which was most likely why jungwon was so hostile towards heeseung.

heeseung on the other side had jay, his friend from high school, but the latter was more focused on his classes and tutoring jungwon to give heeseung much attention. heeseung was fine with that, but he wouldn't deny that he sometimes really needed support.

without knowing his feet took him to the door next to his. he couldn't know if sunoo and riki were there but he wasn't thinking straight, he was hurting. so he knocked and the door opened.

it was riki, and the moment he saw heeseung's state, he let him in and sat him down on the couch.

"hyung! could you make a third cup of coffee? it's an emergency!" riki shouted.

"oh don't tell me you broke my mug! it was my favorite one," sunoo exclaimed walking into the living room but halted when he saw riki with a very sad heeseung. "i'll add more coffee."

✯

"sorry for disturbing your day like this sunoo, riki. i didn't think before i walked out of my room," heeseung sniffled.

"it's okay," riki said. somehow his short answers with his deep voice made heeseung feel better.

"yeah, you helped us so now it's our turn! and i know we only met this week but if you need someone to talk to, we're here for you heeseung," sunoo added.

sunoo on the other hand talked more and his voice was soothing. they looked like good people, and heeseung needed more friends for a change.

so he talked and talked about everything related to his former neighbor and current crush.

he knew that even if it had been so long, his feelings were still there. sunoo and riki could perceive how strong heeseung's emotions were. they understood the level of grievance he had been going through for years. conundrum haunted him and closed up his options, making heeseung feel like there was only one thing he could do.

forget about jake.

he only knew in that moment that, before he discovered he liked jake, there was no pain. now that jake was gone with no signs of coming back soon, heeseung could only view one way out.

"i'll move on. i need to leave this dreadful sadness otherwise i might not make it alive..." heeseung implored.

and he didn't mean it in the most literal way, he wouldn't go as far as ending his own life.

but he wondered aloud, "is a heart incapable of loving actually alive?"

"you are not incapable heeseung," riki said. he wanted to add that he thought seeing jake was the answer, but heeseung was vulnerable now and he might take it the wrong way.

"if anything, you're completely capable of loving. if not, i don't think you would have helped us find our room! anyone else could have brushed us off. you're a nice person for starters," sunoo added.

riki nodded in agreement.

heeseung wasn't sure if he had been making the right decisions but getting to meet the two of them just lifted his spirits. and it was very noticeable, in a matter of days he looked way better.

riki took his chance and thought now would be a better time to mention jake. he had previously talked with sunoo and they both agreed that what heeseung needed the most was to see him.

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so i see you bubs think that there'll be sunki in this story...

i'm sorry but that's not what's going to be happening 😭 i had other plans since months ago

i hope it doesn't discourage you from reading and commenting!

i love reading what you think

love,

-nova<3