say don't go | heejake

2.06

★ ⁂ ✦ ⁑ ✶ ⁎ ⋆

"you're... really here?" jake mumbled to himself.

heeseung nodded as he heard. and then something unexpected happened. jake started crying. this could easily be only the second time heeseung had witnessed him cry, at least that he remembered.

"why are you here?!" jake cried.

heeseung didn't know what to respond. he didn't expect this outburst from the younger after he had just left. he said nothing.

"huh?! why did you come? didn't you want to forget about me?!" jake kept yelling.

but heeseung stood still, unsure of how to say what he wanted. what were the right words? how could he make jake understand? how could heeseung have jake open up about his feelings?

"say something, damnit!!!" jake shut his eyes.

jake had evidently been hurting as well.

heeseung gave up finding the right words for now. what he wanted was to comfort the person responsible for his own heartache and loving. he embraced jake with as much strength as he could use in that moment and let his own tears fall silently.

"i've missed you... so much," heeseung confessed.

jake couldn't fight back his own desires and melted right into the hug, still crying. a million thoughts were wiped from jake's overthinking mind. all those years of wondering and guessing about the other were just gone in that moment.

they didn't care about any of it then. the only thing that mattered was that they had finally met again, that they were in each other's arms and that they seemed to have missed the other as well. and jake felt so good inside heeseung's embrace that he never wanted to let go.

even so, guilt was building up inside jake and he couldn't help but think heeseung resented him.

in fact, jake was so scared to face that possibility that he didn't want the moment to end. he wanted to stay inside heeseung's arms and yet, he knew it would come to it sooner or later.

in the end, jake slowly let go and heeseung did too, hurtfully remembering jake's behavior from back then.

there was silence. none brave enough to speak first, still being careful with what they could say.

eyes met. jake could distinguish the sadness and relief in heeseung's gaze, where there was also softness and affection. the last were so strong jake had to look away. he felt unworthy of it. and he was also still angry.

and heeseung couldn't avoid noticing it, how jake's eyes screamed remorse, guilt, heartache. but also immense joy and relief. it couldn't be mistaken that jake and heeseung had both been hurting to see each other again.