Oddinary [Stray Kids]

26

Chapter twenty-six: The moon

With a bowl of hot soup and a spoon, Sam enters Felix's room quietly, closing the door behind himself. The man smiles ever so slightly at the sight of the blond tiredly looking back at him from his bed.

It's been a week since the incident that happened on the train's roof and he hasn't been the same ever since. He hasn't gotten out of his room at all, only the times when he'd have to go to the bathrooom. He has been eating much less since he'd only eat if the members would bring food to his room, though he never asked for such thing. And even then, he'd only take a few bites of it.

Talking with his group members was a struggle, too, the blond only talking with Christopher. And even then, just a few words would slip his chapped lips before he'd go back to being silent. The whole situation was rather hard for all of the men inside the building, yet it was the hardest for Felix. Because, even though he used to be a detective, he never thought he'd see a dead person right there, before him. He never thought he'd see a person's life gradually leaving their body in front of him, because of him. This whole experience left a deep wound. Hopefully, it'll fade away and turn into a scar that he can look at without feeling the pain he's been feeling these days.

As the red haired man approaches Felix's bed, he places the bowl on the nightstand and sits on the edge of the mattress, looking down at the shorter, who's already looking at him. Sam moves away the stray strands of hair from the blond's face, a smile plastered on his face as he's sighting upon the freckled man. "How's everything? Good?" the man asks in a soothing voice, receiving a nod from the younger. Sam nods back and sighs. "I brought you food, as you can see. Let me know if you need anything else, okay? Text me if something happens." he utters quietly and kisses the other's forehead before standing up and walking towards the door.

The man's eyes widen, though, when he hears something he's been missing these days. "Can you stay a bit more?" the younger's low voice sounds like music to the male's ears.

Sam turns around with a wide smile on his face and walks back to the bed, sitting beside the other. The blond smiles ever so slightly for the first time this week and hums. "Sam?" he mutters and looks up at the older. Felix clears his throat and lets out a quiet sigh. "How was your first time? You know, killing someone?" a frown appears on the freckled man's face after uttering the word he's been hiding from this whole time. Just thinking about it makes his body shiver.

Sam hums as he recalls the memory of his first kill. "I was with the guys on a mission. At that time, there were only four of us: Chris, Peter, Lewis and me. At one point, I was alone because the others were fighting some police men. One of them came after me, though. So, before he could do anything bad to me, I shot him." he tells the blond his story with a quiet voice, looking at his hands. "But hey! It wasn't all that bad, honestly. In that moment, I knew I was made for this." the red haired male smiles ever so slightly whilst still looking at his hands. "I didn't feel any remorse, I didn't feel any empathy for the one I killed. After all, he wanted to do the same thing to me." he says as he looks back at Felix. "Look, I know it's hard. Though I didn't feel how you do, I can understand. But at the end of the day, Tae was gonna kill Chris. Maybe you, as well. You did the right thing. You saved your friend and yourself which is definitely not a bad thing."

The blond nods and lets out yet another sigh as he looks up at the ceiling. "It hurts." the man mutters and blinks anxiously. "Every time I close my eyes, I see the face he made at the sight of the gun. He looked so...scared."

Sam nods, a sigh leaving his ajar lips. "Anyone would." the man says in a gentle voice at the sight of the younger's unreadable expression.

The blond's sight changes from the ceiling to Sam's eyes, a slight frown appearing on his face. Felix tilts his head ever so slightly as he gazes upon the man's lips, hot air leaving through his mouth. He stays like that for a minute as he contemplates whether he should or should not say what he has in mind. "Sam?"