Cursed Realities

4. His Awaited Escape

Later that night, in the gym of Stark Tower, Steve unleashed his emotions on the punching bags. The rhythmic thuds echoed through the empty space as he delivered punch after punch.

Each strike was a manifestation of the turmoil within him, a way to grapple with the weight of his own existence.

The bags became a symbol, absorbing the force of his frustrations, as if they embodied the unfortunate fate he believed had shaped his life.

With each powerful blow, Steve sought release, channeling his emotions into the physical exertion of the workout. It was a solitary endeavor, a means to let out the pain without succumbing to the vulnerability of breaking down.

The echoes of the punching bags were accompanied by the haunting echoes in Steve's mind. The pain ran deep as he reflected on his life, recognizing the recurring theme of feeling like a burden. In his early years, he considered himself a burden on his parents, despite their unwavering love. The awareness of his scrawny and diseased condition fostered a sense of guilt.

As he grew older, the weight of being a burden shifted to his best friend, Bucky, during their school years. The burdens of friendship and the toll of war left their marks on both of them.

When Steve entered the modern world, he found a place where people initially respected him, where he thought he had friends. Natasha, in particular, played a crucial role as his guide, helping him navigate this new reality. However, her harsh words shattered that illusion.

Now, in the solitude of the gym, Steve grappled with the painful realization that he was a man out of time, an anomaly in a world that had moved on. The repeated refrain, 'you don't belong here, Steve Rogers,' echoed in his mind, reinforcing the deep sense of isolation that threatened to consume him.

As Steve caught his breath, wiping away the beads of sweat that marked his intense workout, he couldn't shake off the weight of Natasha's words: 'I wish you would have died being stuck under the ice of the ocean.' The bitterness of those words lingered, a painful reminder of the isolation he felt.

In the quiet of the gym, Steve grappled with the internal turmoil that Natasha's sentiment had stirred. How could he convey to her that there were times he himself wished for that icy embrace? Times when the weight of being a man out of time became too much to bear, and the thought of an ordinary existence seemed like an elusive dream.

He hated to admit it, even to himself, but there were moments when he wished he had not been found alive, that he could have fallen in battle like any other soldier. The burden of living in a world that had moved on, the loneliness, and the constant struggle to find his place took a toll on him. In darker moments, he had entertained thoughts of ending it all, but a promise made to Dr. Erskine held him back.

With a final blow to the punching bags, Steve let out a heavy sigh. He knew he couldn't let himself succumb to such thoughts. His promise to fight for the weak, to be a symbol of hope, prevented him from taking the coward's way out. Wiping away his sweats, he left the gym, carrying the weight of his own battles and the painful reality of his existence.

In the living room, Steve found Tony engrossed in his phone and Sam immersed in a book, both seemingly waiting for him to join them for dinner. Walking up to them, he greeted, "Tony, Sam?"

Sam looked up and suggested, "Captain, have your dinner." Tony chimed in, "Finish your food, then go and destroy as many bags as you want. JARVIS will order a truckload of them." Steve managed a small smile and took a seat next to Sam. Tony joined them, offering some semblance of camaraderie.

Tony, ever perceptive, spoke up, "You know she didn't mean that, right?"

Steve shook his head, "She did. She meant that. I saw the fire of honesty in her eyes. Maybe not entirely, but she really meant that to some extent."

Sam sighed in disbelief, "I can't believe."

Steve shook his head again, reflecting, "It was my fault though. I shouldn't have..." He sighed, "God, no. I wouldn't let her run into death, ever. Doesn't matter what she says." The weight of his responsibilities and the complex emotions surrounding Natasha's words hung in the air, but Steve was determined to carry on, even if it meant confronting the harsh truths that came with his super-soldier existence.

Sam, with a perceptive gaze, pointed out, "When she was lashing out... I noticed you wanted to reply but chose to remain silent. What was that?" Steve shook his head dismissively, attempting to downplay the significance of his withheld words. However, Sam was persistent, "I run a group session, you know that, right?"

Steve sighed in defeat, acknowledging Sam's insight, "When she asked - 'Why the hell would you care?' I wanted to say, 'Because I love you. That's why I couldn't let you die.'" The revelation surprised Tony and Sam, though they had observed Steve's behavior around Natasha, so they were not shocked. 

Steve continued, "But I remained silent because... I didn't want to add more burden on her. She was already heartbroken knowing about her mother. She once told me that she didn't know who her real mother is but had always found Melina when she needed. So, it must have been more painful for her."

Sam shook his head, "Love makes you blind, I've heard." Tony chuckled lightly. The three friends sat there in a contemplative silence. 

The next afternoon arrived, and Natasha had yet to emerge from her room. Clint reassured Steve that she was okay and advised him to give her some time. Despite Clint's assurances, Steve couldn't shake off his concern. Knowing that Natasha found comfort in Spanish food during tough times, he decided to do something for her.

In no time, Steve got ready and hopped into his car, which Natasha brought for him. He drove to  the best Spanish restaurant in Manhattan, picked up some food, and noticed that the day was turning into night. Sensing it might be the right time, he revved up his engine and sped towards Stark Tower.

As Steve neared Stark Tower, crossing a bridge, his eyes widened with worry as he noticed a speeding car heading towards two kids at the edge of the bridge. Without a second thought, his instincts kicked in. In a blink, his brain processed hundreds of scenarios, and he acted without considering the consequences. Steve crashed his car against the speeding vehicle, the impact forcing both cars to collide with tremendous force. His car rolled over to the edge of the bridge and dropped into the water, leaving Steve stuck by his seatbelt.

As the damaged car sank into the depths, water surrounded him, and his seatbelt refused to release. The sensation of choking on water overwhelmed him, and unwillingly, he remembered Natasha's words, "I wish you would have died being stuck under the ice of the ocean." Steve closed his eyes, perhaps... it was happening. Maybe it was time, Steve thought as the car descended to the bottom of the water.

As the night progressed, the team began to notice Steve's absence. They stumbled upon a news report about a brave man who had saved two kids by crashing his car into another. The public praised the hero, and the police were searching for the car and its driver. However, the team didn't pay much attention as accidents happened every day, and they dismissed it with a lighthearted comment from Sam about Captain America inspiring sacrifice among Americans.

An hour later, Natasha, unable to sleep, checked her phone and removed her blindfold. She discovered a warning notification. Opening it, she found it was a notification from the sensor in the car she had bought for Steve when he grew tired of riding his Harley. The notification simply read: "Nonfunctional."