Never Let Me Go

Fight

A/N: Everyone's favorite character in the media - Kendall. :)

I fainted. Literally. I can't remember the last time I did that shit. After coming to, I woke up to see myself surrounded by Colin, Ricardo, Kay, Derrick and Maya. They were bombarding me with question after question. I don't need that right now. I need time to clear my head. Ignoring them, I made my way up the stairs demanding to be left alone. I quickly locked myself in the bathroom. After five minutes of no one knocking on the door, I realized I was good.

Turning on the shower-head, I allowed it to get hot as I turned on Pandora on my phone and synched it to the speakers in the bathroom. I think I put it on the "Today's Hits" station or whatever because the first song to come on is Flo Rida and Sage the Gemini's "GDFR."

Of course.

"You really do have a sense of humor," I look up at the ceiling before reaching behind the door and pulling down my shower cap. Putting my hair in a messy bun, I slip the cap on, careful to get around my edges and kitchen good.

Testing the water, I see it's hot enough and slip off my robe before hopping in. The water is almost too hot, stinging as each droplet hits my skin, but also soothing at the same time. Covering my chest with my arms, I lean against the shower wall and clench my eyes shut.

Dios, this is too much. Kendall is back. He's out of prison. The bastard that almost ruined and ended my life is somewhere walking free, probably plotting his revenge on me. God, I can't believe this. It's like I can never be happy for too long.

How did this even happen? They were suppose to send me a letter telling me he was up for parole or anything that could involve him being released. I never received anything. Our justice system is so fucked up, I swear.

"Are you kidding me right now..." I mumble as GDFR goes off and some slow ballad comes on. As if I'm not already depressed enough, let's add some freaking gloomy song to the mix.

With trembling hands, I reach out to grab my Bath & Body Works body wash when something else catches my eye. I chew on my lip so hard, I feel that salty feeling form in my mouth. Blood.

I can't. I've done so well. It's been so long. Am I seriously going to let this make me revert back? No, I'm stronger than this.

Despite my inner battle, my hands still reach out and grasp the disposable razor. As I raise the pink item, I realize that I'm crying due to the difficulty seeing because of my blurred vision. Sniffling, I allow more tears to fall freely.

I can't handle this. I just can't. I need to. I have to. Just once.

I place the sharp object against my left wrist slowly applying pressure. Just as I'm about to glide it across, a sentence from the song playing interrupts my thoughts.

Can you hear my voice this time?

I pause for a moment, shaking my head, readying to make my first cut in over three years.

This is my fight song

I stop again. What is this song?

Take back my life song

The blade drops. I take a shaky breath.

Prove I'm alright song

"Oh my God," I mumble, placing both hands over my mouth as I let the words settle in.

My power's turned on

Starting right now I'll be strong

By now, my body is shaking with sobs as each line she sings hits me right in the chest. It's like this song was made for me.