Angel | Saiouma

ଘTwenty-fourଓ

Kokchi sat awkwardly on the couch as Shuichi leaned his back against the door, head bowed slightly, his hair obscuring his face.

It had been about twenty minutes since Shuichi officially broke up with Kumori. About ten minutes after said walking perfume shop woman had stopped pounding on the door, crying for the detective.

"She wasn't always like this."

Kokichi started a little at Shuichi's soft voice.

"What?" He blinked.

Shuichi slowly looked up, eyes looking weary. "Kumori," his voice was soft. "She wasn't always like this. She had just gotten out of an abusive relationship and I found her outside my business building bloody and beaten."

Kokichi's gut twisted a little just imagining that.

"I took her to the hospital. She needed serious medical attention because several of her ribs had been broken from her former boyfriend kicking at her. She had severe anxiety attacks at the worst moments because the traumatic memories would come. I let her stay at my apartment for a few months for her to recuperate."

Now Shuichi made his way towards Kokichi before collapsing next to him. He didn't even complain when the taller turned to lay his head on the Angel's lap. Exhaustion like never before was written all over his face. His eyes were closed, lashes brushing his skin endearingly.

"She had been so grateful for letting me take care of her. I started dating her after about another month. I helped her get a good job as a fashion designer."

Kokichi hesitantly brushed some hair away from his forehead, half trying to comfort him half because the urge to do so was too great to ignore. He seemed to enjoy the feeling as the smaller felt some of his muscles relax a little.

"Her boyfriend came back about six months ago, and she got really clingy," His golden eyes opened a little, though he didn't look at the pale boy. "Even when he was arrested for domestic violence, she remained clingy. She's always had her faults for money, partying, sex, and handsome men, but I forgave her near the beginning because she'd been through a lot of shit."

Kokichi felt Shuichi's body contract a little as he took a deep breath only to let out a heavy sigh.

"But when it became clearer and clearer she wasn't going to change, my feelings started to change," His gaze finally met Kokichi's. "I don't hate her, Kokichi... I just don't like her in that sense anymore. I still care for her, despite all her flaws, but I no longer want her to be known as my girlfriend nor the other way around."

Kokichi's mouth felt dry at his ethereal beauty inches away from his pale face as well as the deepness of his words, revealing even more beauty within him. "You're so much different than I first thought you were," He murmured half in a trance.

Shuichi's eyes widened and instantly Kokichi realized the implication of his words.

"Crap," He muttered, and he quickly shoved Shuichi's head off his lap before leaping up and scurrying out of the room, pale face flushing up.

Kokichi didn't even make it halfway down the hall when someone grabbed his wrist and jerked him back to him. His back crashed into a hard chest and arms laced around him to hold his small soft body tight.

"Let go of me," He got out, his body flushing against him. Yet Kokichi didn't have it in him to actually struggle to get himself free.

Not that it would've done much anyway.

"Repeat what you just said," Shuichi spoke above the purple head of hair.

He shook his head, but the arms around him tightened.

Kokichi briefly shut his eyes. "I've always hated rich people," his words came out in just a whisper, but Shuichi could still hear him because everything else was silent around them. "It didn't matter whether I knew the person or not. I just hated them."

There was a pause.

"Why?" Shuichi's voice was filled with genuine puzzlement.

Kokichi swallowed hard, his amethyst eyes beginning to burn a little. "My mother," his voice cracked before he cleared his throat, desperately trying not to lose it all the way, as he unlocked his childhood memories. "She married my father when she was just 20, and he was 21. She was happy with him for a while, and they had me together. But when I was about five, things began to change. She and Dad would get into more and more fights with each other. For the stupidest reasons.

This one time, my dad had come home, forgetting to buy my mom flour, and she had snapped." 

 'You can't even take care of your own family!' 

'I just forgot the flour, my love, I'll buy it tomorrow, promise' Kokichi's father pleaded. 

His mom threw a plate on the opposite wall, shattering into a million pieces as it rained down in deadly glitter. 

'Why did I marry you? How do I know I can rely on you? One day, at this rate, we won't ever have food on the table because you 'forgot' to do something!'

"It wasn't until two months after my tenth birthday that everything just blew up," He now involuntarily hugged himself. "My mother was caught cheating on my dad with another man. My dad..." his breath hitched a little, "he wasn't even mad. He was just sad, and devastated, believing that it was all his fault that my mom decided to choose another man over him. He begged her to come back, to forgive him, when really, she was the one who needed forgiveness. And you know what she did?"

A bitter laugh bubbled up from within him and spilled out his mouth.

Shuichi's body tensed behind him at the smaller's laughter. "Kokichi," he murmured.

A few tears slid down his cheek. He hadn't even realized he was tearing up until just then. "She said, and I quote, 'you're so weak and worthless. You think your kind heart will be enough to make me stay?'" Kokichi slowly turned around so he was now facing Shuichi.

His face was unreadable, but Kokichi could see a storm of emotions and thoughts swirling behind his citrine gold eyes as he gazed down at Kokichi's flushed pale tear-stained face.

"That man she slept with was rich, Saihara," His croaked, voice next to inaudible. "Filthy rich. She chose money, luxury, and comfort over work, family, and a good-hearted man. She left us. She left me. She didn't even say a sweet old bye-bye! She. Just. LEFT!" The last three words increased in volume as he spoke them and his fists bunched the front of Shuichi's shirt.

Shuichi gently pressed a hand to the back of his neck to guide him to bury his face into his chest.

Kokichi hadn't thought of that moment for over nine years. Sometimes it would haunt his dreams. Sometimes the memories would come unbidden, but he viciously pushed them down. Now, he had opened the gates and let the memories come freely.

And it hurt.

It hurt like a bitch. 

"Buuuuut~ That was a lie! I had to get you off my back!!" Kokichi spoke again, gaining control of everything for only a second and gripping it as if his life depended on it. 

"Then why are you still crying?" Shuichi spoke softly. 

Kokichi was soaking the front of his shirt as Shuichi wrapped his arms better around the smaller one and held him tightly to his body so there was no space between them anymore. Kokichi fell, he simply clung to him as he let the tears keep coming.

The rest of the night was blurry.

After Kokichi cried, he somehow found himself curled up in warm blankets and plump pillows. He didn't even remember being tucked in like a baby in bed; he just sunk into the hidden folds of the blanket around him and had fallen asleep, his entire body and mental state exhausted.

'My mom left me.

Did she mourn for me when news reached her that I'd died?

Does she even know I am dead?

More importantly, does she miss me?'