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Chapter 31

MACE ALQUIZA

Falling in love always requires getting hurt. Kung may natutuhan man ako sa lahat ng mga pinagdaanan ko, iyon ay kung gaano kasakit talikuran ang mga taong mahal ko.

I used to believe that entering a relationship with Skyler wouldn't demand too much heartache. Sa isip ko, wala naman na akong mahihiling pa. Yet spending a year with him taught me deep lessons about love.

Our relationship, once seemingly perfect despite its ups and downs and flaws that we thought would never separate us, is now struggling to breathe and be free.

Kahit pala gaano mo kamahal ang isang tao, at gaano mo kagustong manatili sa relasyon, darating pa rin ang panahon na mas pipiliin mo nalang tapusin ang pagsasama niyo para lang wala nang masaktan.

It takes strength to end a relationship. It takes courage to confront the uncertainties that follow. Courage to face the void that their absence creates in your life, to acknowledge the pain, loneliness, and a whole host of emotions that come rushing in after saying goodbye. Alam ko naman na sa aming dalawa, ako ang may pinakang may kasalanan, kaya siguradong ako ang pinakang magdudusa. Kaya ko iyong panindigan, basta masiguro ko lang na magiging maayos si Skyler. Sa ganitong paraan, hindi lang siya ang mapapalaya ko kundi maging ako na rin at . . . para mapatawad ko na ang sarili ko.

I look at myself in my compact mirror.

Tonight is the night that I decided to put an end to everything between me and Skyler. Though it's terrible timing, especially considering he's currently dealing with physical pain, and I am now certain that he is facing a difficult and dangerous problem as I heard from Kysler last night, but it can't be helped. I know he needs someone to lean on. Gusto ko siyang maintindihan sa problemang kinahaharap niya. Gusto ko siyang samahan at gusto ko siyang may masandalan. Pero kung gagawin ko iyon, natatakot akong mas dumagdag sa problema.

I find myself torn between wanting to be there for him during this tough time and the fear that my presence might exacerbate his already challenging situation. Pero ayoko namang makagulo at dumagdag sa isipin niya. Isa pa, hindi ko naman alam kung ano ang gulong pinasok niya. Kahit gusto kong tumulong, the fear of becoming an additional burden to Skyler haunts me. Lalo na kapag nalaman na niya ang totoo.

Napabuga ako ng hangin at sinara ang salamin bago ko napagpasyahang bumaba sa kotse. Nasa harapan na ako ng mansiyon ng mga Wilson.

It feels like the first time when I set foot at Wilson's residence. The setup was grandiose, and it once again conveyed wealth. Ganitong-ganito rin noon bago ko makilala si Kysler. Ganito rin ang pagdiriwang nang magsimulang magtagpo ang landas namin at magkaroon ng lamat ang relasyon namin ni Skyler. Everything started here. . . and everything should also end here. It's a difficult decision to make, but I've made up my mind and am determined to stick to my plan. I just hope that, in the end, Skyler and I can find the peace and closure we need, whether together or apart.

"I'm glad you're here." Sinalubong ako ni Alana nang yakap nang makapasok ako sa loob ng mansiyon. Kumpara sa malawak na lawn area kung saan gaganapin ang party na malapit nang mag-umpisa ay mas kakaunti ang tao rito sa loob. Ang iba ay malalapit na kamag-anak lang ng mga Wilson.

"Thanks to your driver, of course."

Pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang suot niyang green dress. It was hugging all her curves and it indeed gave justice to her ethereal beauty. The shade of green complemented her complexion, making her radiate with a captivating allure.

"You look so pretty, Ali."

"Thank you. You don't look bad yourself too. Super pretty like me." Alana giggles. She looks so happy and even glowing. So much glow for someone who's in love, huh?