Can you heal my wounds?

24- "why did you kiss me?"

It's been a week, a whole week and I'm only feeling worse than before, I tried everything to make myself feel better but nothing helped.

I even slept for a straight 20 hour one day thinking it would recharge me but it didn't.

All I can think about is her, her touch and how sweet she is, the way she smiles and her lips.

I tried to forget about it but I couldn't.

The way her lips felt on mine, it kept coming back, almost never leaving my mind.

So soft and gentle making me weak in the knees, like I was melting in her arms and I couldn't do anything about it.

I kept convincing myself that it's nothing, maybe she didn't mean to or was just messing with me but that didn't change how I felt.

There was a small sound inside of my head saying what if, I knew I found her attractive the day I saw her but I immediately got it out of my head when I found out about Lily.

And even after they broke up I didn't think anything out of it.

I didn't wanna give myself any hope for nothing.

I was always the type who would admire from a far, never was the one who does something about it.

It was never a problem before, until I met her, I couldn't stay away no matter how hard I tried.

For once I just wanted to enjoy it before it ends, I knew nothing could happen but I didn't care, I mean why would she even consider looking at me.

We are so different, I'm just me, while she is so good looking, tall with dark eyes and hair. 

Fuck the way her muscles would show every time she would wear a sleeveless shirt.

I might even glanced few times when she changed her shirt in front of me.

Fine not few more than that, but I can't help it, it's not just about her looks, the way she sounds especially when we are alone so gentle and caring.

I could fall asleep listening to her, mind you I'm a light sleeper.

Just being around her makes me feel so calm and fuzzy inside.

Is it weird if I said the most thing I enjoyed in our trip is her presence, being this close to her and knowing her more, finding out about what she likes and hate.

I didn't care what we were doing or where as long as I was with her.

Is that too much to feel about a friend?.

"Ughh I need to stop thinking about it, it's nothing, it happened one time and it won't ever happen again, I'm sure she already regrets it".

I get up from my bed after rotting in it for hours.

"I need to get my shit together".

One thing that always makes me feel better is taking a shower.

I get up going though my closest before picking a green tank top with gray sweatpants.

I lay them on my bed before hopping into the shower.

It's been a long time since I did something for myself so I decided to exfoliate before putting a hair mask in my hair.

I waited for a bit before rinsing off the mask and washing my body.