Never Again.... Maybe

Again and Again

JAH POV

Kai won't stop asking me to fuck him. It's like he thinks once we fuck it'll finalize something or like he thinks since we haven't done it I don't want him. We've been getting more sexual, just not to the point of fucking. I keep trying to explain to him that I want him but I sometimes think he needs me to sexualize him to show that I want him more? I don't know how to explain it.

We're here chilling at my house. We've never fully stated that we're together and I'm thinking about asking him soon. He's still overly mean sometimes but for the most part he's always under me. It's like since the first time he really did switch. I went to an event without him and when I told him he looked on the verge of tears, but what made it funny was he seemed upset I took Ray. I only took her because she's a little depressed right now.

Ray did tell Dillon about the pregnancy and he took it well, he said he'd be there for his child but he still doesn't see her as someone he'd date. She understood and decided to move on. She said it's been hard because he has no problem trying to fuck with her while in the same breath saying he doesn't want her.

So here I am rubbing Kai's back as he just lays there. I saw Kennedy again at the event but I didn't tell Kai. Not because I don't think it's important but I know he'll be upset so I left it out. She tried talking to me but I shut it down, she seemed ok with it and just continued to hang with me and Ray. I met some other people there as well but they weren't worth remembering.

Dillon's coming over today because he says we haven't had a boys night, but I've been so wrapped in work and Kai I haven't been giving anyone else my attention. It's not annoying but I don't want Kai to lose contact with all his friends and only depend on me, I'm not sure what he does while I'm at work. I definitely know what he does when I'm at lunch. Call me.

"Kai. Dillons coming over today so get up I'm bout to get some snacks and drinks from the store" he looked at me and started putting his clothes on "why you putting yo clothes on?" I asked "to go with you" he smiled. "Nah stay here so if he comes you'll open the door for him" "no" "c'mon Kai stay, I'll literally just be a second" "you have someone you planning to meet with?" He asked me with a pout and tears in his eyes. I'm really just playing because I wanted to see what he'll do but this is probably not healthy. "Obviously I don't Kai. I really just want you to stay here in case he shows up while I'm at the store" "he'll just sit and wait in his fucking car bitch. The fuck you going to be doing at a store that I can't come with you?" He asked me as tears started to fall. "C'mere you can come" he mugged me and started putting his shoes on.

We're at the store. Kai was walking looking at items and I was behind him. While he was walking a girl bumped into him. "My bad, I'm sorry" she said smiling at kai who was mugging her "no problem shawty" she smiled even bigger. "Can I get your ig or number?" She asked with hope in her eyes. "Yes" he gave her both. I'm just standing there behind them watching the entire interaction. She starts flirting heavily. "I'll just go get the snacks and come back I'll catch you when you're finished" I said to him, he looked at me with disappointment. I was shocked as to why.

We're driving home now and I'm yet to hear a word from him, I know he's upset but I'm not sure why. I also haven't heard from Dillon so I know he's not at my crib yet. "Why you silent for?" No response. "Kai?....... Kai?....... Kai?....... Kaishawn" "yes nigga' he kisses his teeth causing me to kiss mine. "You ignoring me?" I know he obviously was but I'm lost as to why. I literally did nothing for him to ignore me. If anything I should be the one who's upset, he gave a woman his number in the store today, but I know he won't do anything with it. And probably just wanted to feel masculine since he's been treated a lot more feminine than masculine from me.

We're at my house and he's still ignoring me. It's really starting to upset me now because I'm trying to talk to him and he's not listening or looking at me. He's sitting far away on the bed.

KAI POV

I know I'm overreacting but I can't help but feel like he doesn't like me at all. Why would he watch me give my number away and not say anything or snatch my phone, if that was him I would have his phone in the ground already. And earlier today he didn't even want me to go to the store with him, it was just an unimportant trip to the store not like I asked him to marry me. But if I did he'd obviously say no. I don't even know why I wasted my time liking him, because now I want him to want me as much and it'll never happen. I'll never have my own person.

"Kaishawn. For real you ain't about to sit here and ignore me" he said while choking me. I was happy he hasn't given up on trying to talk to me. "What do you want nigga?" I asked loving every moment. "What's wrong with you man, just tell me and I promise I'd try to never do it again. I don't even know what it is but I swear."

I looked at him " why were you so fucking cool with me giving out my number and then leaving like you my wing man or some shit. Cause you not, you suppose to be my nigga so why the fuck would you even allow that ugly bitch to speak to me and let me give her my number. Ugly ass nigga." I mugged him

JAH POV

This really what this was about? I can't believe that someone would be upset by that. I looked at him confused, if anything I thought he would be glad I trusted him and understood why he was doing it. I guess I was wrong. Was he doing it to make me jealous? I hope not. I'm not really a jealous nigga, I trust my partner won't be on no slick shit so there's really no one I need to be jealous over. My father always thought me that only an insecure person in a relationship gets jealous. I'm secured in this relationship and I trust Kai so I'd never expect him to cheat. And the way he's always under me? I know we never officially asked but it was implied that we're together so we just rolled with it.

"You upset because I wasn't jealous? I wasn't jealous because I trust you Kaishawn. I know you would never do no weird shit like that to me, so there was no need to be worried. And I only left because I wanted to rush back in case Dillon was soon here" I said he looked at me with a sad expression. I really want to know what messed him up for him to be this insecure and want to be with me all the time.

KAI POV

After hearing Jah's words I feel even worst. I just thought jealousy was to show how much you love someone that you're willing to fight for me, but instead he said he just trusted me. I couldn't believe it, it made me feel like I was putting unnecessary stress on him for such a stupid reason. But I really needed him to be jealous, just to show he really wants me and wants no one else to have me. He won't sleep with me, he never asked me out and he still didn't even want me to go to the store with him.

"I'm sorry" I said "it's ok, c'mere lets lay down till Dillon gets here. But listen Kaishawn don't ever fucking ignore me again or I'll kill you." I just looked at him with a smile, he doesn't want me to ignore him? " you understand?" I nodded "good now go up in that room and get them clothes off and ass out" he smacked my ass hard as fuck "you hear me nigga? I want that ass in the air by the time I get there" he smacked it again but this time he squeezed a chunk and jiggled it.

I'm now in the room with my ass up waiting on him to come. I slowly hear the door opening and when I turn around I see him walk in with roses shocking me, he looks at me as i begin to sit down. "I'm glad you listened. cause if you didn't i would've really fucked you up. Because that ignoring me really had me fucked up. But I wanted to give you these roses to show that i appreciate you. Now get back in the position, im ready for that ass for real". i just smiles and raised my ass in the air and my face in the bed. he smacked my shit and went straight into eating.