Never Again.... Maybe

The End

JAH POV

Kai decided he wants to do a parents class and I'm just shocked because when I suggested we go somewhere for help he was all against it and crying, I know it's not the same thing but why would he be so open to this but not to counseling? I'm not going to sweat it though because we're good and chilling and I'm really not in the mood for confusion.

KAI POV

Jah said he'd be happy to do the parenting class with me. It starts in 3 days and I'm excited, after seeing how hard parenting really can be I'm ready to learn from the professionals.

I'm on my way to the kitchen to get something to eat because I'm hungry and Jah is still in bed, he's not sleeping but rather just laying with his eyes closed and his arm resting on his forehead covering his face. I make it to the kitchen seeing some dishes from yesterday when my new friend came over, she left pretty late so I never washed them. "Jah!........... Jah? ............ Javon!!" I walked back to the bedroom and saw Jah just laying there still. "You ain't hear me nigga?" I asked getting a little upset he was ignoring me. I walked over to where he was and moved his hand harshly. As I did this he jumped up looking at me shocked as if something happened.

JAH POV

"I was calling you from the kitchen, why you ain't answer me?" Kai asked me. "My bad, I was so out of it I didn't hear you say anything" "ok" he walked out and I knew he was upset.

I went to work yesterday for 11 and when I came home after 7 Kai's friend was here. They were having a grand time and I loved that, but I had just gotten home from work, I was tired, I wanted to sleep or at least chill in my bed but no. Kai wanted all of us to hang out, I tried to decline but he started pouting and forming his face in a way to let me know he's going to cry. I know he's pregnant but I'm tired as fuck.

I got out of bed and saw Kai standing in the kitchen talking on the phone. When he saw me he started to talk. "Jah can you wash these dishes for me, I want to get off my feet" I just nodded my head and walked through to the kitchen.

"Kai, you so lucky, I wish I could get a nigga to wash my dishes for me." I heard the lady on the phone said, it was the same girl from yesterday. She and Kai seem to really hit it off. Love that for him.

KAI POV

Jah looks really down. From since yesterday he's been zoning out and just laying around, not doing much of anything. That's why yesterday I wanted him to have fun with me and Amber. She's funny, he's funny, I'm funny. It was a perfect night but it looks as though it was only perfect for me. I can't help but feel as though I'm the reason he's so tired all the time. I stood in the kitchen watching as he washed my dishes, his eyes low to the floor as if he's depressed, and tired. Like he's carry the world on his shoulders and have no where to rest it.

He goes back to the room and I take that as an opportunity to talk to him, check up on him to see how he's doing?

"Jah baby, is everything alright?" I asked softly. He just looked at me and gave me a small nod. I walked over to him and tried to touch him but he moved back a little. Making me look up as I felt tears in my eyes. Nothing was  falling as yet but soon it would be. "I can't touch you?" He just looked at me. I saw something like regret in his eyes but he still didn't say anything. The tears were now coming as I felt my chest close in. I felt as thought this was the moment where he was going to end it all. Everything was going so good or so I thought.

He just stared at me as I started to cry. I couldn't control my breathing, I was struggling. I felt as though someone had taken my heart and was repeatedly punching the blood from it. I felt as though the one person I felt I had forever was now leaving me. In one quick motion I was being carried to the kitchen, in Jah's arms. No one has ever seen hyperventilating like this before. I was so scared I couldn't do anything except cry.

He looked down at me and finally spoke "Kai I think we both need to see a counselor. If we don't we're going to end badly. I love you with all my heart for real but I'm tired" he said looking at me. I tried to grab him again but he moved away again and I couldn't handle that. I just grabbed my heart because it felt like God was punishing me. It felt like I was back to reality where I actually had no one. Where I was over looked. Where I didn't matter. Where I was just another mouth to feed. I felt him looking at me. "Sorry baby I didn't mean to do it like this. I just think it's best we see a counselor. I have some things I need to work on."

After this I was sitting on the couch now numb. I don't know what happened, I'm at a loss for words. All I'm hearing is sorry Kai I didn't mean to do it like this. I felt as though it was coming to an end, this is the end. I stared at my promise ring, I couldn't believe I would soon have to take this off and never wear it again.

"Kai I'm really sorry about earlier, I don't know what i was doing" Jah said as he looked at me. I just looked up and I tried to grab his hand. If he moves again this would be my last time trying. He moved.

But to my surprise he moved to place me in his lap, while he apologized.

JAH POV

I really think we need therapy. It's not only for Kai. I never thought it would happen like this but being with Kai 24/7 is weird to me, I've never had someone with me all the time, I've never had to be in someone's presence all the time. Yesterday I came home from work and I was tired as a bitch. I just wanted some alone time to relax. But when I got here Kai and Amber was here and he begged me to stay and started crying which made me feel bad and I just did whatever he wanted.

It was so draining, I'm not accustomed to entertaining or being with someone all the time. It's usually me on my own and so I think because I was tired I disassociated myself into a small world where it's only me. The world I'm accustomed to. The world I'm comfortable in. The only world I knew before Kai and my soon to be baby.

I love Kai and I want the relationship to work but I think it really only settled in for me today that we both actually needed help. I thought it was just Kai because of his insecurities but I think I may need help as well.

Kai's in my lap just crying, he hasn't said anything to what I've said. I try again my hand shaking. "Kaishawn, baby. I think we should see a therapist. We need to work on ourselves before this baby comes here. Our parents weren't perfect or even close to perfect but I want us to be perfect because we're already close we just need a few tips." Kai just looked at me and instead of answering to what I said he asked me an all too familiar question. "Can yo say it Javon?" "I love you" he just stared at me right before resting his forehead on my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry baby that I didn't listen to you before, I'm sorry we had to wait until you got like this. Ok? I promise I'll go and I'll be better." I nodded my head, I knew it wasn't really his intentions but it was partially his fault even if it was subconsciously done, and with a good motive.

"But can we go together baby?" He asked voice shaking, now I'm calming down and coming back to my senses his entire body is trembling, he has snot around his nose. He was really ugly crying. I smiled and kissed his forehead thinking about the fact that the reason we're like this in the first place is because he wants to be with me all the time.

My lil attention hog.

He slowly looked up at me seeing me smiling. I kissed his lips. "Yes we can do it together, but I think we also need some separate sessions to speak more freely and really get some one on one work" he nodded. I know he was still feeling terrible so i ordered us some food and carried him to the room.

By the time the food got here Kai was already sleeping, the crying took my baby out.

I really am sorry for how I was, I don't know where it came from.

KAI POV

I'm going to try my hardest at this therapy thing so Jah's happy. I think to myself. I can't imagine losing Jah.

I slowly drift off to sleep seeing Jah walking back into the room.

A night to remember, I'm glad it's NOT the end.