Never Again.... Maybe

He's mine

JAH POV

Ray is chilling at her house, she hasn't been here for a week or two. She said she's been getting her head straight with the whole baby situation and Dillon. Dillons been on the phone with me couple times but he also hasn't been around lately, he's definitely messing with a new girl.

I'm thinking about asking Kai to be my boyfriend, because after we fucked yesterday I realized I never actually asked him to be MINE it was just implied from our actions that we were together but I think he'd prefer for me to actually ask him. So I'm going to ask him today or tomorrow. I'm heading to work right now and I'm thinking about buying us matching shoes as a gift while I ask.

(At work)
"Jah. You be having all girls in here and I don't see you talking to none. Wassup witchu?" Asked my co worker. He's an older gentleman and has been working with me for a while so he knew I would sometimes talk to females here. But now I don't even form conversation with them cause I already know Kai would kill me, them and then himself, I'm not trying to be murdered. "Nothing playa, I'm just in a relationship with someone so I'm not gonna do them dirty."

After we fucked yesterday he was his usual clingy self but also I caught him trying to wear my clothes, even my underwear. They were clean but not new. He also wanted to sit in the bathroom with me as I bathe or even when I piss. He never did that before, I'm hoping I can get more accustomed to it, because I know if I feel like I'm being put in a cage I can lash out. But if I try to talk to him I know he'll get embarrassed and emotional. Don't get me wrong I love that he loves being with me, but that's now when we haven't known each other that long. If he keeps this up it may feel like I'm caged in. What's cute now may not be cute later.

I'm soon finishing work, I'm going to pick Kai up tonight so he can sleep at my house since he refused to sleep at his house now. Only problem is I got a message from Ray saying she wants to come over, because she's beginning to feel lonely and needs to change her view. I told her yes cause she obviously my friend and I'll do anything I can to help her in this time. I haven't talk to Dillon about the baby because it's weird, I just ignore the fact they having a child together. I think they're ignoring it too.

(At home)
Me and Kai are sitting on the couch waiting for Ray, he doesn't like Ray at all for some reason and continues to tell me every chance he gets. "Ok Kai let's have a serious talk about why you don't like Ray, let's just talk about what we got going on" "ok" he said with an attitude. "Well Rat bitch ass be all up in yo face and then she be sending bitches yo number. She must know we got something so doing that is weird as fuck to me." "Her names Ray but Ok" "I really don't give a fuck. I just want you to like me like I like you. I really like you fuh real. You always on my mind, I'm always worried about you and I just feel like you may not be there yet but that's fine."

Hearing kai pouring out his heart to me was something I didn't know I needed, he was still talking to me and I was just watching him talk. I don't even know what he's saying anymore but from the time he said he be worried about me I just been staring at him and thinking to myself. I've never really had no one tell me they're worried. It felt nice to hear. Being in a family with traveling parents and older siblings I was a little neglected, I got accustomed being by myself and worrying about myself and others..... no one was ever really worried for me. At school they knew I had both parents and money, at home they knew I was loved so there was no need to keep telling me. But inside I needed to hear it. I thought I pushed this deep down and got rid of all these emotions but hearing Kai is making all them come back.

"I never had someone dedicate themself to me the way you do. I know I can be annoying but you make me feel whole and like I'm the only person in the world. I'm so glad I met you ugly nigga, you just...."- "I think I love you Kai. Nah I love you Kai" i cut him off, I hope it isn't too early or weird to say right now but I couldn't hold it in anymore, he really is the only person in the world for me and I'm the only person for him.

I looked at kai as he looked at me, he just stared at me confused. "I'm sorry, I don't feel that deep about you yet" he said, my heart sank. I really read what he was saying wrong. I knew when we said it yesterday it wasn't real. But I already put it out there and it's true so there's really nothing I can do. Guess the dick didn't make him crazy enough. "I'm just kidding ugly nigga. You about to cry?" He laughed "I love you too Jah." I started smiling and he did the same. I pulled my phone out as he watched me. I dialed Ray's numbers, he started to look at me upset, but not for long. "Yo G you really can't come over today. Sorry sis, tomorrow for sure but not right now...... cause I'm busy" I looked at Kai who has now gotten in my lap "yeah he over here...... yeah that's why....... Ok cool...... yeah he my nigga, he's mine. All mine...... yeah thanks love yuh......"

I lifted Kai and now we're on our way to my bedroom. He's ready for some more dick and I ain't never going to deny him. "say it again" he said to me "what?" I asked confused. "That you love me" I laughed as I sat him on me while I sat on my bed. "I love you baby" he smiled big at me and rest his face in my neck clearly sniffing me. I started rubbing his back and he just fell asleep. I guess no ass for me.

This lil nigga is really mine. It's like I never thought I'd get in a relationship with a nigga, sleeping with them is one thing but I'm glad I did. This nigga really got all my heart. I'm going to have to tell all my family now. Let's hope they love him as much as I do. And as much as he hates Ray she's a big supporter.