Never Again.... Maybe

I Dont Know How Much Longer I Can Do This

KAI POV

"I'm sorry daddy, I won't do it again" I screamed as Jah kept shoving his dick deeper in me. "You finna raise your voice at me again?" "Noooooo" "you gonna keep being jealous of meaningless people?" "No daddy I swear I won't" I cried, we're soon not going to be able to have sex so I'm enjoying this so much because I know I'll never get this again for a while. "You trust me baby?" "Yes daddy I trust you so much" "so why you questioning my intentions?" I didn't answer because all I can do is moan and clench the sheets. "Nigga you ain't hear me?" He smacked my ass and separated my cheeks drilling me harder and harder. "KaiShawn don't make me ask you again" "I'm sorry" I screamed "I trust you baby I'll never quest....ahhhhhhhhh"

Jah has to go to work today but I won't mention the little date again because I trust my nigga..... I trust that he knows I'll kill him and any bitch.  "Hey" I answered the phone seeing my twin calling me, she's just checking up on me to make sure I'm good since I'm pregnant and have to be left at home by myself sometimes. But I'm literally a grown ass man who pays his bills so I'm not sure why the fuck she think I can't take care of myself for couple hours but it's still love so I'll take it.

It's Jah's lunch time and I decided to call him because I haven't done it in a while, and he clearly wants me to call. "Hi baby" "hi jah, what are you eating?" "I'm eating subway" again nigga? Yu tryna buy the store or some shit, the fuck you eating in there again for? I thought to myself. "You there alone?" I asked cause I never knew him as a subway eater. "Nah I'm here with Karla" he flipped the screen and showed me a pretty women. She smiled at me waving like she a fan or something shit. "Hi" I said. "Don't take it too personal he ain't the friendliest." Fuck is he trying to make her feel good for? Huh? Like ok nigga.

I stayed on the phone with Jah almost his entire lunch, she also stayed and tried to talk with me and be my friend but I think it's weird that she's trying to be my friend, it's like she's trying to distract me from the fact she's up there with my man everyday. But my eyes are always open. So any bitch thinking they're going to get my nigga is a mad bitch.

Jah's home now and I've prepared us a little food, just spaghetti nothing too strenuous. "Hi baby, you really had to do Karla like that? She's just trying to be nice, I'm not saying y'all gotta be best friends but if you call me at lunch and she's there just be a little nicer ok?" I looked at him like he was crazyyy. Because why is he doing this? "Don't look at me like that because you literally had a nigga in here showing you niggas fucking so....." I just rolled my eyes and tried to walk away. "Nah don't walk away" he said grabbing my shirt and pulling my back into his chest.

"You jealous over some girl I'm working with but don't ever forget you had a man in my room" "but we weren't fucking, nor did he want me" "but Karla don't want me and Karla ain't showing me no bitches. But something I think you forgetting is that I want you and only you." He said while turning me around to face him. He grabbed my ass shaking it in his hands "you think I can give this up? This ass too good baby ain't nobody gonna have me hooked like you do" he said. I just smiled at him, I literally love him so much. He just brings me a joy that no one else could. "Now go fix my plate" he smacked my ass hard as fuck and pushed me away.

Jah's in the bath and his phone is ringing, it's Karla. I'm looking at it wondering why she's calling. So to answer my question i answered. "Hi" "hey Jah" "yeah" "if it's cool with Kaishawn" she said laughing "cause I know you're whipped can you pick me up tomorrow" I just said ok, she laughed and I just smiled like an idiot, I enventually moved the phone not realizing the call was over way before. "Jah. Karla wants you to carry her to work tomorrow. I already told her it's ok so." "The fuck is you talking about? YOU? KAISHAWN? told someone I could pick them up to take them to work by my lonely?" He started laughing. I mugged him "don't make me change my mind nigga" "ok ok" he laughed some more pulling me into his cold kinda wet body.

"Come to bed Kai" Jah begged, ever since I told him he can pick her up it's like he wants to be up under me. I'm starting to get suspicious, it's like in his head he thinks he's gotten me tricked. Now I'm skeptical.
"The fuck is you so happy for? It's cause I said you can drop that bitch off? Cause I'd be quick to change my mind" his smile dropped and my heart started to beat faster, it's like he got caught.
"Kai I was excited because I thought you were finally trusting me, It felt good to know that you were finally starting to trust me and understand how much I love you and would never do anything to loose you. Kai I just need you to know that." He turned around, just laying there facing the wall instead of me.

I've been crying silently, until I feel a hand pull me closer "it's ok baby I understand." I just kept crying, I don't know why I keep doing this to him, I really need to just trust him and stop being like this, i don't even know why I'm like this in the first place, this isn't my first relationship, first gay but not my first relationship, and I've never been like this before so I'm not sure why I'm even like this. "I'm sorry" I whispered. "Shhh Kai. listen I want you and only you ok? I'm willing to tell you and show you this everyday. Anytime you have doubt about how I feel or anytime you fell as if you aren't enough or that I want someone else just tell me baby, and I'll reassure you every time ok?" I just stayed there in his arms as he rubbed my belly.

"Say it please" "I love you more than anything in this world baby, more than life itself."

I fell asleep and slept so peaceful with my man rubbing my belly. Felt so wonderful to have this man to myself. I ask myself everyday how I got this man to want me and only me.

JAH POV

While Kai is sleeping I'm up messaging Karla letting her know I'll send another worker for her because I won't be coming in tomorrow. I know I shouldn't condone Kai's behavior but I just want him to understand how much he means to me, after the promise ring I thought I made it clear but I guess I'll have to do more. I'll take the day off tomorrow and spend it with him just chilling in the house.

I'm trying my hardest and I hope it works but if it doesn't I don't know how much longer I could do this. It's even harder now knowing we already have a child on its way. I love Kai but if he can't see that then what's the point? People who hardly know me, only knew me for 3 days have already realized how much I love Kai but Kai who knew me for months doesn't. It's hard trying and not getting through. But hopefully persistence is key, if not this is basically the end.