Time fi you

52

Karalana Atalyia Campbell
Two months later

"Come Kara, yuh need fi get up."  Shae said taking the sheet off me. I groaned and got up.

I rubbed my eyes and stretched. When the sleep finally came out of me, I turned my attention to her. She looked tired and drain.

Imagine how me look. Bwoy mia tell yuh life juss cruel.

When she saw that I zoned out she started to say "You know he wouldn't want you to be like this."

Her statement did something to me, I clutched my chest and closed my eyes tightly, inhaling deeply. "Don't, don't talk like that please." I told her my voice breaking.

"Kara, mi juss nuh know anymore. . .mi cyaah hol' it nomo, a two months now since him missing, nobody nuh know weh him deh. Wah can guh suh? Yuh know when young people guh missing fi so long a wah tek place. There's no where we nuh look, him wouldn't juss get up and gone suh. He wouldn't abandon mi, Daeja and most of all you and him unborn pitney. Mi give up yaah man, everyday mi pray to God fi juss mek him come home or show we a sign seh him alive but. . .mi cyaah stop picha mi pitney innah shallow grave Lana." She told me breaking down.

This is so heartbreaking. Sometimes mi lose hope but mi juss cyaah accept the fact seh him might be dead fi true.

Mi sigh and stared out the window, this is how it has been for the past two months.

When him neva come home the night mi nuh think nothing of it. Mi juss stay fi talk it out, hoping he would show up the next morning. I went to bed tired and worn out wanting to explain the entire thing to him, to clear my name but he never came. A day turned into a week and I gave up and went to Tae's as always. Mi spend the time wid Tavi who helped me to forget the situation even though mi neva tell them the full story. I felt too ashame to, I felt dirty. . .less of myself.

Mi still neva get no message from him or nothing cause him did still block mi, I tried calling him using Tavi'a phone but him him neva pick up. Seemed like him change him numba.

I gave up for a while then Shae called mi asking if I heard from him and that's when I knew that something was wrong. Him always deh talk to him mother,  one day nuh pass and him nuh call her.

Mi start fi get worried, Shae too. Mi pack up and come back yere. Waiting for him. Maliek was the first person to post that he was missing, mi nuh know if him woulda guh suh far. . .but then again yuh can expect the unexpected cause look weh him do to mi.

The whole Jamaica and the other countries are shocked with the news, he weren't at any of his shows.

That left many persons heartbroken. Many artiste post him up. Some people even saying R.I.P.

And throughout everything. . .mi blame miself, if we neva have an argument him wouldn't leave and him woulda deh yere suh wid mi.

Mi stop guh school did have haffi start duh online class. Mommy them hear the news they've been here but them did haffi guh back down.

My 19th birthday was last week and mi not even celebrate it that's not nothing new but I'd plan to go out. . .with him.

Everything is just frustrating, rumours were spreading that mi mek man kill him cause mi want him possessions which is so dumb, it got so crazy that I had to delete everyone of my social media accounts.