Finding Love

Chapter 28

AJ's POV

Stupid.

Stupid.

Stupid.

I glare at the ground in front of me, beyond pissed at myself.

I've been this way since yesterday, aka, the day I fucked up worse than I ever have.

"AJ! Over here!". I glance to the side, seeing Lynn smiling and waving me over. Her and Alora are twisted in their seats to look at me, yet my eyes land on the girl glaring at me.

I don't think glaring gives the look she's giving me justice.

It's pretty fascinating how many negative emotions she can show in one look.

All directed at me.

I don't blame her at all.

I glance away immediately and keep walking, swallowing my guilt as I go.

Google said to give her space.

I walk inside the school building and down the pretty empty hallways. Since it's lunch, most people are in the cafeteria.

"AJ!" I hear a familiar voice call out. Cursing, I speed up and turn the corner, hearing the sound of footsteps behind me.

I slip inside the first door I can find, which happens to be an empty classroom, thankfully.

Closing the door, I hear Lynn's footsteps as she walks past the door, and I sigh with relief while also dying of guilt.

I don't want to avoid her. I never fucking do. But I know the lecture she'll give me- one I've given myself multiple times over the last twenty-four hours. I can't hear it again.

Running my hands through my hair, I tug hard on the strands, causing pain that allows me to take a breath.

I walk over to the back of the classroom. Leaning against the wall, I slump down till I'm sitting on the floor with my back against the wall.

I put my head in my hands as I groan.

Yesterday has played in my mind on repeat ever since.

I'm not a fucking idiot.

Or at least, I didn't think I was until yesterday.

When Lynn gave me that cupcake that Becca apparently made, that just so happened to have way too much salt, I knew damn well it was a test.

Lynn had the fucking bottle of salt right beside her for god sake.

Yet I couldn't bring myself to say anything.

I looked Becca right in the eye as I told her it was good.

I didn't expect her to fucking act on it later that day. Stupid- since of course she would.

And what did I do? After I gave her a fucking signal that I liked her? I stayed silent.

Becca opened up.

Becca, the smart, beautiful but fucking prideful girl I've grown to like opened up- put herself out there for me and I fucked it up.

I stayed fucking quiet.

Which is arguably worse than rejection.

She tried to hide it- of course, she did, but I saw the hurt in her eyes.

I managed to hurt the girl I was sure couldn't be hurt.

She made herself vulnerable- for me. And I..fucked up.

I hear the door to the classroom open.

"You idiot!" Lynn snaps, and I groan loudly into my hands.

The door to the classroom slams shut, and I hear her walk over.