TOUCH | Nakamoto Yuta

39 |

"What are we going to do?"

He shakes the baby bottle of formula, sighing. They've been trying to get the twins to start drinking formula, as it'll be easier for everyone, especially when he has to go to the company to fix things and is gone for more than a few hours. "Well, I'm definitely going to find an apartment to stay."

Yuta looks over to the phone leaning against the coffee machine, Taeil's face on the screen, his bedding around him. "So you'll move out... we'll miss waking up with you, you know." The older says, voice soft, matching the late night of the states and the morning of Korea. "But I hope you know that you'll be getting visitors really often after you move out. I'm sure Donghyuck won't leave you alone much, now that he'll have somewhere else to terrorize."

He chuckles, "I'm sure." He smiles, prepping a second bottle. "Hyung, there's something else I wanted to tell you, it's about the meeting I just told you about."

Taeil turns to lay on his stomach, holding the phone in an outstretched arm. It was a good thing he got the solo room, seeing as Yuta was supposed to room with him; he could call him without disturbing a roommate. "What's on your mind?"

"I was thinking..." how can he tell them? Over the last three days since the meeting, he's thought over the possibilities, what they would mean for his future, for their futures. He needs to think logically. He takes a deep breath, finally saying the words he's been keeping to the privacy of his head, "I'm going to leave the group."

"What!?" His phone screen becomes a blur of colours as Taeil is quick to stand up, any drowsiness he had gone and replaced with shock. "You're going to leave NCT? Yuta- I'm sure there's a way, that we can talk to them and—"

"Taeil," he sets down the bottles, putting his attention on the older. "I've been thinking it over, it's for the best, for me, the twins, everyone. If I stay in the group, what'll happen? I go on a hiatus? For how long? How long will the fans have to wait? Months? Years? Someone has to be there for the twins, and I don't think I can live with myself if they're with a nanny all the time because I want to continue being an idol. You know as much as I do how much we have to put into this job, we have to put our whole beings into it. The twins deserve to have at least one parent stay with them, with you three, they'll see you guys often, but they need someone with them every day... they need someone to depend on, you know?" He really has thought deep about it, and he's sure of his decision. He loves his job, he loves doing his job with his best friends, but these two small humans need him.

"Yuta... are you sure?" The elder asks after what feels like forever. "You've trained for years, moved countries, we've been doing this for years, are you sure you're ready to let it go?" His voice is careful. Taeil can understand his reasoning, yeah, Shotaro and Sungchan do need someone in their life, adoption is off the table, they can't give their kids up like that, but he can feel the conflict of emotions the younger must be going through. They spent their youths working for this, they face so many difficulties to keep their spots, to fight for themselves, for their fans, to be willing to let it go has to be tough.

Yuta can only nod. "Well, I don't plan on letting it all go. I... I'm going to propose a new contract, one that'll keep me as an artist under SM, but that lets me have some more leeway, to give me time to heal." His heart beats quicker, if he's nervous saying this to Taeil, how will he be able to tell this to the company? "Hyung, I don't want to give up any of this life, it's such a big part of my life. Maybe I can convince them to let me still have some solo schedules, but not as often as we have, so that I have enough time to be with the twins, and enough work to do what I can, even if isn't with you guys."

Taeil keeps silent, he sees the way Yuta bites his lips, a little too hard, the way his hands are fists atop the marble countertop at the bottom of the screen. He's known him long enough to know that he's nervous, waiting for his opinion, needing someone else to tell him whether it was okay or not. "Yuta," he calls out softly, pushing aside his shock to think rationally. "If you think this is the best way, so it. We'll all support you, we'll all understand, if you leave the group. I'm sure not everyone will be happy, but they'll come to understand. If you want my two cents, I think you could be right, that that might be the best solution for all parties."