His Rockstar

10. | A Distraction

Unlocking my door, I set my keys on the table beside my door and shrug off my coat. I walk toward my living room and when I lift my head, I freeze.

"Alex. You're still here." I state, staring at him as he stands from his spot on the couch.

"Yeah." He smiles slightly. "How was the hospital?"

I shrug, taking slow steps toward him. "Rhys is in surgery, Naomi is...traumatized." I keep my gaze downcast. In case he can tell I was crying. "My dad's being the same massive douche he's been my entire life."

"Have you been crying?" I look up at that, surprised. How'd he know?

"No." I lie.

He gives me a look, telling me he doesn't believe me. "It was your dad, wasn't it?"

I inhale. "I don't want to talk about it." I take a single step closer. He doesn't move. I don't even think he breathes. "I need a distraction."

He twists his head slightly. "A distraction? Of what sort?"

"Well," I should stop. I know I'm going to regret this in the morning, but I can't bring myself to stop. "I have one thing in mind."

"Lindsey..." His voice is a low warning.

"Why don't we just forget everything for a night?" My voice lowers as well, turning sultry. "Just forget everything but our bodies." I glide my hands up his chest.

His breathing hitches. I want him to give in. I want us both to just forget the hate, forget the past, and enjoy this moment together. "Lindsey..." He whispers.

"Yes?"

"We shouldn't."

"Why not?" I step even closer. "No one's here to stop us. Unless you don't want this?" I'm taunting him. I know I am, and he does, too.

I take a step back, but he pulls me back to him, our bodies pressing together. "No. I want this."

While I'm 5'9, he's still relatively taller than me, so I push up onto my tippy toes. "So show me." I whisper against his lips.

I watch his eyes darken, clouded with lust. Then his lips are colliding with mine, and God, how I've missed this. Missed him. Our lips clash in a harsh battle, our hands gliding down each other's bodies. Our clothes fall to the floor before he's picking me up and laying me down on my couch. Our lips stay together, hungry for more.

I know I shouldn't be doing this. Shouldn't be using him. I should feel guilty for this. But at this moment, I can't find it in me. I won't deny my attraction to Alex. Even after five years, he's still as hot as ever.

Should I be using him to hide my pain? To forget? No. But I can't stop. Not when his hands are roaming my body, lighting my skin aflame.

He kisses down my stomach, my breathing hitching as he inches closer to my panties. He looks up at me from his eyelashes, for permission, to which I nod my head and he all but rips them from my body.

A gasp slips past my lips, but it's caught between his lips. He hovers over me as his hand slides down my body, dipping into my sensitive pussy.

"Mmm... So wet for me already." He leans down and presses kisses below my ear, my stomach doing somersaults. "And I've barely even done anything." He whispers in my ear, his voice gravelly.

It sends a shiver through me.

Something similar to anticipation floods my body and I find myself wanting more from him. Wanting him to touch me more.

I want him. And that should scare me, but it doesn't. I can't feel scared with him.

A breathy gasp slips past my lips as his finger slips inside me, picking up a rhythm that has my eyes fluttering shut. He whispers in my ear, just as he did five years ago. He knows how to touch me. How to make me come. How make me fall apart within seconds.

Because he learned all those years ago.

My back arches as he enters another finger, increasing his speed. My mouth falls open, moans slipping out like water.

His fingers curl inside me and I break apart with a long moan, my eyes shut and my head tossed back. His fingers continue to thrust inside me, riding out my orgasm before he pulls out, bringing his fingers to his lips.

His eyes roll back at the taste of me and heat spreads from my neck to my core. "So sweet." He whispers in my ear. My breathing hitches, but his mouth is on mine before I can think, and I can taste myself on his tongue.

He readjusts atop of me and the head of his cock presses against my entrance. I separate from him, panting as I hold him by his shoulders. A small sliver of panic slips through the crack in my wall.

"It's okay. I got you." He whispers reassuringly, staring me dead in the eye.

I nod. "I know." I whisper. Slowly, inch by inch, I take him, until he's seated fully inside me. I have to bite my lip to prevent any sound from escaping.

Jesus, I forgot how full he made me feel. And even more now, five years after. Is it possible to grow more after eighteen?

He lets me adjust around him before he pulls out, only to slide back in. My mouth falls open on a silent cry as he creates a rhythm, hitting against my g-spot with each thrust. My legs wrap around his hips, taking him deeper.

My head falls back, eyes shut, until I feel him guide my hands above my head. "Keep them up here." He demands, pinning my hands.

The knot in my stomach grows taut as he picks up speed, all but slamming against my g-spot. Moans and whimpers slip past my lips, but they're muffled by his lips on mine.

He nips at my bottom lip, just as the knot in my stomach snaps and I come so hard I see stars. Alex continues his thrusts, riding out my orgasm, before he's coming as well. We both pant, trying to catch our breaths as we lay on the couch.

Then he's climbing off me, wandering into the kitchen. I exhale softly, exhaustion finally catching up to me.

But before I can fall asleep, Alex is running a soft towel between my legs, cleaning me up. He discards it in one of my dirty laundry baskets then climbs behind me on the couch.

His arm wraps around me, and I'm about to fall asleep when he whispers softly, "Promise me this isn't just another one time thing."

I only hum. I want to say it's not, that we can commit to this unlike five years ago. But I can't. Because I'm not the girl he can be with, and once this whole thing ends, we'll never have to talk again.

I can't make that commitment. I can't make him happy the way he wants me to.

I just can't.

***

A/N: Is it early for smut? who knows. It's all apart of the story line (which I do have planned out bc i was so lost while writing this bro)