Deep thoughts. Teardrops. Trying to stay calm when everything's wrong. My mind is jumbled. In a wild and crazy place, half of me says to just let go and join in. But the other half, says I should stay true to my childhood. My sweet character as princess. But the thing is, I don't want to. I can't. I was always good to please my parents, but all I want to do now is break free. The Lost Boys always dance around and celebrate, but Pan seems to be alone mostly. He stands mysteriously in the middle of everything. And I can't help wondering, what happened to him? What made him turn so... Evil? I constantly catch myself watching him, yet I have no idea why.
My eyes snapped open as I heard footsteps next to me. I turned slightly and covered my face with my arm. I had been trying to sleep, but for some reason all I can do is think about my horrible life. I peek out from under my arm, and what i see astounds me. Pan stands before me. Not saying or doing anything, just watching me. His green eyes look almost sad. Could I be wrong about him? I close my eyes as he starts to fidget, hoping he'd just leave. Of course he didn't though, instead he decided to pull my arm and shake me awake. I jumped up, my eyes widened and my face set in a frown. "What Are You Doing!!!!???"
He cupped his hand over my mouth, and whispered, "Shhh. Follow me."
He stood up without another word and started walking into the forest. I stumbled to stand, but I followed behind him slowly. What was going on? Why did he want me to follow him?
My eyes searched the trees around for something unusual, but there was nothing. "Pan? What's going on?" I asked slowly and cautiously. He seemed to stiffen at this, yet he stayed quiet. My hands started to tremble slightly. Was he going to kill me? He had never seemed to like me. I always caught him staring at me with a odd look in his eyes. Hatred probably. I followed behind him, shivering with fear. He didn't even give me a second glance. He gave me a strange feeling, and everyday it was different. Some days, he would be nice. And I felt happy. At peace. At home. Others he would yell at me or ignore me, treat me like dirt. and that would be exactly how I felt. Like a nothing. But now, I didn't know how I felt. I just knew I was confused.
Suddenly Pan stopped in front of me, and I bumped into him slightly. He didn't seem to notice so I backed up quickly and looked at him. "What is this place?" I asked, as I stood wide eyed, looking at the huge tree before me. This wasn't just any tree. It was different from the others. Taller, more mystical than I had ever seen.
Pan took a deep breath before replying. "This is a very special place to me, Willow. It's where a great choice in my life took place..." I was opening my mouth to speak, to ask what choice, when he stopped me. He turned and looked at me, his eyes distant. "But this isn't about me. I'm going to teach you how to control your magic."
My facial expression went from surprise to fear. "No... I can't... I'll just hurt someone."
He saw my hands start to glow, and he moved them towards a different tree. I fired at it. I looked up at him. I couldn't do this. "Willow, the reason your magic is even more dangerous than it could be, is because you don't believe."
I narrowed my eyes and let out a small laugh. "I'm pretty sure I believe in magic."
He huffed. "Not in magic. In yourself. You don't have faith that you can do it, so you can't. The first step in controlling your magic, is believing."
He started walking away, and I quickly turned. "Where are you going?!"
He shrugged and smirked. "I'll let you think on that."
My mind swirled. What was I going to do?
After I sat in bed for awhile, I made my way to the campfire.
I sat down on one of the logs, trying to figure out what I was going to do. I knew I needed to learn, but I also knew that Pan was evil. He would teach me in a way that would lead me to be just like him. Then the children, those innocent children, who are now dead came to my mind. It didn't matter what way he taught me, I couldn't risk another innocent life. My throat felt sore, probably because I was choking up with tears. I quickly rubbed them off, and stood up again. I didn't want to, but it was the best for everyone. I made my way, slowly and gloomily, back to the giant tree. Pan was still there. Lost in thought. But he snapped back into focus when he saw me nearing him.
Before he could speak, before he could change my mind, I said it. "Teach me everything you know."
