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"Mashallah," Roza said, looking at me through the mirror, "You look beautiful Api,"
Forcing a smile on my face I thank her gently grabbing her hand. Rehan had forbidden me from telling anyone about our deal, even Roza.
I take a good look at myself in the mirror as well, I did look pretty but it felt as if something was missing, and the thing that was missing was my happiness. From all the jewelry to the makeup to the outfit I looked as if I was a happy bride but if someone took one look into my eyes they would see that I was the farthest thing from being happy.
"Mahi?" Amma said walking into my room, as soon as her eyes landed on me they filled with tears. "Yah Allah, kitni khoobsurat lag rahi hai meri bachi." (Yah Allah, my daughter is looking so beautiful.)
I tried to hide my sadness from Amma, and took her hand gently, "Amma, don't start crying now." This was just the beginning of the wedding, we still had so many more functions to get through, and if she started to cry now, I would cry too and ruin all my makeup.
"Kya karu," (I can't help it)She whispered, with tears glistening in her eyes, she came around to stand infront of me, "I know that you don't love Rehan," She admitted, "I know that your baba has put alot of pressure of on you Mahi, but trust me, Rehan will keep you so happy." Yeah, as soon as he divorces me. "When you were little, he would do anything to protect you, he would do anything I asked him to do if it meant he could spend a little more time with you." We were children. "But do keep this in mind, Mahi," Amma stood up straighter, "You are our blessing," Tears rolled down her cheeks, "Your baba and I prayed and prayed to have a child and then you came into our lives, like a blessing. If Rehan, ever hurts you or does anything that you cannot bear, remember you will always have a home here. I do not care, what your Baba will say, or what the other will say because you, Mahi." She lovingly caressed my cheek, "You will forever be my miracle baby girl."
I felt guilt begin to weigh heavier on my shoulders, "I love you Amma," I whispered back, hugging her torso. I know Amma did her best to help me escape this forceful relationship, but that was only so much she could do, and right now, I wanted to tell her just how much her words meant to me.
"Wow," Roza said sarcastically, "I guess I just fell out of the sky right Amma?" Leave it to her to lighten up the atmosphere.
Amma hit her arm playfully, "Chup Karo," (Shut up)She said pulling her towards us too, "You both mean the world to me."
Closing my eyes I relaxed in my mother's embrace, when all I wanted to say to her was,'I am sorry Amma,' but the words got lost beneath my own selfishness.
. . .
Since our homes are so close together, the families decided to be a part of both of the dholki's tonight Rehan's side. would be our guests and then tommorow night, our side will be their guests, for Rehan's dholki. So when Rehan's side came, Roza came to get me from my room, to bring me downstairs, to where all the guests were waiting.
