wine stains

no one is invincible

Jack feels himself walk towards an alley. He's not consciously doing it. His body is moving on its own. He can't stop, blink, speak– only walk into the dubious looking alley.

There, he sees a mop of curly hair, just like his. His body freezes in place, and a wave of dread washes over him. The person turns around, and he sees a reflection of himself. A much more psychotic version of himself.

"Finally, you're here." It seems like his own voice, but it's not. He didn't feel his lips moving, nor did he feel the air in his lungs moving towards his vocal chords to form sounds.

His reflection drags someone by the hair in front of him. He quickly recognises him lover. Zach was beaten up, tears rolling down his cheeks. "You did this to me." He utters. His eyes no longer held affection towards him. Just betrayal and pain.

"What's wrong? Your darling no longer loves you?" His reflection mocks him. "It's your fault, you know? It will always be your fault." He torments him.

Jack wants to shake his head, but he just can't. "He's right. You lied to me! You sent an innocent man to jail for your crimes!"Zach booms out.

"How many people were there? Thirty-five?" His reflection hums. "You know, I never liked odd numbers... let's even out our body count."

With that, he stabs Zach under his chin. Jack sees as his lover chokes on his own blood, how it drips down his neck. How he moves to stop the bleeding only to be stabbed on his heart. Jack wants to scream, but nothing comes out. He wants to save his lover, but his body is frozen.

Jack can perfectly hear the faint thumping on his heart. His reflection twists the knife, and his lover lets out one last gasp.

"Jack, you did this to him." His reflection pulls out the knife and moves closer to Jack. He wipes his lover's blood on his cheeks. "You killed him." He smiles."Jack."

"Jack!" The curly head is pulled out of his sleeping state by his lover. "Are you okay, honey?" He concern on his voice pulls him out of a daze.

Zach turns on the light on the nightstand and inspects him lover. "Oh honey, you're all sweaty..." He moves the hair out of his face. "Do you want to have a shower while I make you some tea or something?" He asks softly.

Jack merely hugs his boyfriend. "It's okay, honey. Having bad dreams happens to everyone." Zach reassures him sweetly. The curly head breaks into tears, holding onto him tightly. And Zach is there to comfort him. The sweet scent of vanilla and his rhythmic heartbeat against his ear slowly calm him down...

"Jack, honey, are you okay?"

Jack nods. "Just let me be like this for a few more minutes." His voice broke Zachs heart. It was so fragile. It must've been a disturbing nightmare.

"Take all the time you need, honey." He runs his hand up and down his back. Zach feels that his T-shirt is soaking wet with sweat, and staying sweaty like that for much longer will make him sick.

Once Jack's breathing returns to normal, he parts the hug and sits on the side of the bed. "I'm sorry, I don't know what -"

Zach puts a warm hand on his shoulder."It's okay. Having nightmares is a normal thing. Just have a shower, and I'll make us some camomile tea. Is that okay?" Jack nods. "I love you."

The curly head feels his eyes water again. "I love you too." Jack replies quietly.

Zach pecks his cheek and goes to the kitchen. Jack quickly cleans himself, puts on some clothes, and changes their bedsheets. He didn't feel comfortable sleeping with the same bedsheets.

He goes to the kitchen and sees his lover with one of his shirts, fuzzy socks, and bunny slippers pouring two warm cups of tea.

Jack sits down on their island, and Zach sets both mugs on it. His fingers speared his hair gently as it was still wet. The silence and the light scent of camomile brought comfort to Jack. Zach inspects his every feature.

Tired brown eyes with furrowed eyebrows. His lips seemed a bit more dull than normal. His hands trembled a bit. Whether he was shaken up by the nightmare or cold, Zach couldn't differentiate it. It seemed like Jack was a shell of the person he truly is.

The brunet placed a kiss on his temple and hugged him tightly. "You're worrying me, Jack." He confesses.

"It was just a bad dream." He sighs. "I guess it just messed me up."

"Wanna talk about it? It usually helps if you vocalise it." He suggests.

"I couldn't really control my body and... you were there and... and -" He stops himself as he begins to shake. Zach soothes him. "And... there was someone that looked just like me that - that killed you." Tears roll down his face. "And I couldn't - I couldn't save you." He breaks into sobs as his lover holds him.

"Honey." He calls him to attention. "I'm here. I'm okay, yeah?" He says softly, caressing his back as his lover sobbed to his heart out. They stay there until Jack eventually pulls away and looks at Zach.

"Jack." He cups his face, making sure that his thumbs rub on his cheeks. "Thank you for telling me that. You were really brave, honey." He smiles softly. "Let's get you to drink the rest of your tea, and let's head to bed. Is that okay?"

Jack nods mutely. Zach pecks his cheek and hands him his cup of tea. The curly head drinks it and feels a pang of tiredness flow through his body. The brunet sets both mugs on the sink and walks with his lover back to bed.

The two lay down, and Jack lays his head on his chest. His heartbeat relaxed him. Knowing and hearing he's alive comforts him. Zach turns off the lights and pulls the covers up. He kisses Jack's head. "I love you."

The curly head tightens his hold. "I love you so much." He mumbles.

Zach waits until Jack's breathing evens out and only then falls asleep. Holding him like this reminded him that despite seemingly always being in control, Jack is still human. Even though he always knows what to say at the right moment, he still has fears and worries.

Jack isn't invincible; but that doesn't matter. Because no one is. This realization is something that everyone should have. That we all have limits and that we can either reach them and discover why they're there, or we can limit ourselves to a comfort zone.

Maybe the mental gymnastics Jack has been doing for the trial is his limit. Maybe it's the never-ending pressure from his mother. The uncertainty of Zach's father. The guilt of his sins. The overwhelming need to always be in control. The fear of his lover getting hurt. Maybe it's all of that combined.

One doesn't reach their limits with merely one situation.  It's an accumulation of bad things. It's even when the good things are not enough to outweigh the bad things.

Has Jack reached a limit? Zach questions himself.