Broken soulmates (bxb)

Chapter 12

Darius pov

I can't do this.

My mother's garden can already be seen but my feet got stuck in place. Cold sweat broke out on my forehead and my heart beat like a drum. I couldn't focus on anything but the thought of the place that long ago was my safe place, our place.. I haven't been back there in 16 years.

I can't do this.

"Don't be silly, it's just a garden." Kane said and for the first time ever his words hurt me. No matter how often we've disagreed and been rude to each other, I've never been hurt. But this hurt me.

"How can you say that after everything we've been through?" I asked, hating how weak I sounded. I could feel Kane panicking.

"I'm sorry Darius I didn't mean it like that. I just want our mate to see it.." Kane said.

"Whatever.." I answered. I took a deep breath and refocused on my mate. Little one looked at me with a worried look.

"I'm fine. Let's keep going."

All my instincts told me to turn away as I stood in front of the garden gate. My hand was shaking and a wave of nausea ran through me as I started to open the gate.

I held my breath and pushed the gate open.

Little one gasped and put a hand in front of his mouth. I focused on him so I could forget all the painful memories.

He took a few steps forward and gazed at the large garden in fascination. I glanced at the place and regret crept into my chest, I should have taken better care of this place.

"Darius?" My mate's voice brought me back to the present.

"Are you okay?" He continued and came back to me, I found myself still standing at the gate and that I hadn't followed him. I nodded to him even though my mind was still fighting the ghosts of the past.

A graceful hand grabbed my hand and I looked at my mate questioningly.

"I know upcoming panic attack when I see one, are you okay?" He asked again and I smiled a little. He is much braver than before.

"Yes I'm fine. Let's go." I said and directed him to the garden.

"Just explore freely." I said and watched how excited my mate was going around to different flowers and plants. Suddenly he stopped in front of a large rose bush and my breath caught in my throat. Roses were my mother's favorites and her pride.

My mate crouched down in front of the bush and touched one of the roses. His hands glowed a soft purple hue and soon the buds on the bush opened. He smiled at the flowers.

"There is so much love here. Whoever has been here is truly beautiful soul.." He whispered but I heard it painfully clearly. He stood up and turned to look at me. His big eyes shone for the first time and his smile was a joy to behold.

I couldn't smile back at him and he noticed my dark mood.

"You're not okay. Tell me what's wrong?" He said and came next to me. I looked at the rosebush and sighed deeply.

"This was my mother's garden, she loved this place. We spent many hours here together. Usually I just watched my mother take care of the garden and tell me about the different plants. She had a beautiful soul as you said. By the way why did you say that?" I asked and hoped that we could change the subject.

Little one closed his eyes and smiled.

"I told you before that nature elves have a connection with nature. We believe that plants carry memories with them of the events that have happened around them. Through the plants I feel the love that this place has, I can see a woman's smile, hear both her and a child's laughter..." He said and looked at me.

A lump rose in my throat and I had to clear my throat.

"May I ask what happened to her?" My mate asked cautiously.

Memories of that day flashed through my mind and my scar began to ache.

"He told us his own story Darius. The least we can do is tell ours." Kane said.

I took my mate's hand and guided him to sit on the bench.

"Have you ever heard what they say about me?" I asked him.

"I've heard a lot of people call you a monster. I was young when I first heard about it but it's related to your wolf somehow?" He replied thoughtfully.

"Yes. Okay so I loved my mother more than anything, she was everything a child could ever need. My father was the complete opposite. He was cold and believed in hard training, he tried to make me an Alpha like he himself was. He was power hungry and that eventually ended up being his fate."

"When I was 12 my father just went crazy. He started to see me as an opponent for his Alpha title and was ready to kill his own son for it. His wolf attacked me when I was coming to meet my mother here in the garden. He gave me this scar and took my sight out of one eye." I let out a deep sigh.

"My mother heard my screams and attacked my father. The fight wasn't long when my father, blinded by rage killed my mother after which his wolf blamed me for the death of his mate. He attacked again but my wolf Kane forced a transformation and eventually we killed him. I haven't been to this garden in 16 years. So.. That was my tragic story." I tried to smile at him but failed miserably.

"Darius I'm so sorry but thank you for telling me." My mate said looking at me with sad eyes and I couldn't take it anymore. I got up and looked around for a moment.

"Yeah well it is what it is. I'm going to blow off some steam now and I'll pick you up later and we'll start getting ready for the pack meeting. You can do whatever you want here. This is yours now." I said and walked away without looking back.

"Wait Darius!"

I didn't stop, I continued on my way.

"You did well Darius." Kane tried to comfort me but for the first time ever I wanted to be completely alone.

"Not now Kane, I want to be left alone." I told him and headed to the gym.

I mindlinked the strongest warriors to come and fight with me. If only that was enough to calm my nerves.