Lavender haze

Chapter 6

When Jimin  arrived home, he was still paralyzed, he couldn't believe what he did and most of all, he couldn't believe yoongi  didn't stop him.

Yeah, he called his name at the end, and he grabbed his wrist, but he wasn't trying to get rid of it, he just clawed on it, holding it firmly against his neck.

It was a weird reaction to someone choking you.

But his own reaction was weirder.

His cock hadn't fully gone soft since he abandoned jungkook's house. He was still hard, it was uncomfortable and it only made him go again and again to the moment.

When he was laying down on his bed, he thought about his day and the lot of things that happened to him in just 24 hours.

And it was all yoongi's fault.

✨

All students were entering the school while Jimin  rested at the back of the building, chatting with some mates from the soccer team.

He didn't know if  yoongi  was thinking of suing him, or if he would show up to class today, but he really hoped he didn't.

The events from the previous night were lurking him, he was confused, angry, regretful, negative emotions haunted him since yoongi's  arrival.

It wasn't like he wasn't fucked up before him, but it was a lot easier to bear.

" Jimin , we heard you fucked Sana at jungkook's  yesterday." Jin  laughed, rolling a joint.

"Yeah fuck, finally. That girl's been after you over a year now." Jungkook  was playing a quick match with Jimin , even though they were just passing the ball and sometimes freestyling.

"Yeah, we did it."

"Does she sound as annoying in bed as she does when she talks?" Jungkook  chuckled, rolling a ball on his index.

"Pretty much."

All of his teammates laughed, although he was thinking about what happened after he left that room.

" Jimin ?" Namjoon  appeared from behind one of the walls, taking jimin's attention and signaling for him to follow the elder. "Can we talk for a moment?"

"Yeah...sure."

 Jimin huffed and scratched the back of his head, waiting for the shorter's scolding.

"I want to apologize."

"What?" Well, he wasn't expecting that.

"Although you deserved to be punched and choked to death by what you did, it isn't an excuse." Hyunjin looked around, well, that's a good start. "I know you have...problems. I know you have things to figure out and that your situation is not easy, even though you refuse to let us help."

"Things to figure out?"

"The case is, I know yoongi probably triggered your reaction, even if it was too exaggerated." The elder leaned a hand on jimin's  shoulder, he didn't look fake, his eyes transmitted regret. "I just want you to be able to do whatever you want to and as much as you want to, I want you to be free and not care about anyone's opinion."

"I already do whatever I want to." Jimin  wasn't really following the conversation, even if namjoon  seemed to be very sure of what he was talking about.

"It's not what I mean...I- Well, I think I know you enough to understand what you're going through, and the thoughts you're surely having. But please, don't close up, not with us. Not with me."

"Namjoon hyung , I don't understand what you're talking about. Are you rehearsing any of your motivational speeches?"

"Jimin..."

"Everything's okay, I just lost control yesterday, I should've stopped before anything could happen, or just walked away when yoongi  talked to me."

"Yeah, but there had to be a reason why you lost control, Minnie . You- you can't expect me to watch you almost kill someone and do as if nothing had happened, as if everything is fine. Because you're clearly not. Can you tell what was going through your head?" After spitting all that, namjoon just sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I know it was wrong, okay?" The younger got rid of the comforting hand on his shoulder harshly. "I know it was too much. I know there's something wrong with me. But I can't change who I am. What do you want me to do? Go and say sorry to yoongi? You know that's not gonna happen, joonie hyung . I went too far, but he also deserved... a punishment."

"A punishment?" Namjoon looked stunned. "What kind of punishment is cutting his air flow? What did he even do to you for you to act like an animal, Jimin ?"  Namjoon  looked exasperated, as if he was trying to make Jimin  see something obvious, something he was the only one that he didn't see.

"It got out of control. I'm sorry it ended up like that, but it's not only my fault."

" Jimin ." The elder called for him, serious. "You didn't see yourself. It was as if...as if you were enjoying watching him cling to life. As if you were entranced by it, as if you wanted to keep him alive just to watch him agonize."

 Jimin thought about the moment, about his arousal and the beauty he saw in yoongi's desperation, in his tears, his scratches, his coughs.

"Jimin , there's something wrong with you."