Jensen Ackles/Dean Winchester Imagines

Love Me, That's All I Ask Of You (D.W)

       I forced myself not to cry and said, "I'm going back to the hotel."  Instead of answering, Dean turned his head and took a long sip of his beer. I bit my lips. Okay... So this is how it was going to be. After all the words he said, he would act as if nothing had happened and adopt his indifferent attitude. As always... What did I expect, that I would become one of the priorities in the life of a man like Dean Winchester? That he could love me when no one else in this world could? I didn't know what to say. Part of me wanted to grab him by the arms and shake him and ask him why he was treating me like this. Part of me wanted to leave everything behind and walk away... But I couldn't do that. At least to Sam... No matter how much Dean tried to push me away, his brother Sam was my best friend. If it weren't for them, maybe I wouldn't even be alive right now.

     "Do you want me to come with you?" Sam asked, glaring at his brother.  

      "No. There's no need."        "Y/N..."  

         "Don't worry, I can take care of myself."    I said and quickly got up from the bar stool I was sitting on and threw myself out. It was raining outside but I didn't even care. The bar we sat at was just a few blocks from the hotel we were staying at. When I got to the hotel, I found the room key in my pocket with my shaking hands and opened the door. When I got inside, I threw myself into the bathroom without even taking off my wet clothes and locked the door behind me. And I collapsed in front of the door and started sobbing.

      I don't know how long I stayed there. I jumped when the bathroom door started knocking insistently. I did not answer. The doorknob was strained, and then I heard Sam's worried voice, "Y/N, are you okay? Answer me, please..."    

       "I'm okay... I just want to be left alone."  

      "Open the door. Let's talk. Dean isn't here yet."  

     "Oh, how surprised I am. I'm sure he doesn't really cares."   I shouted between my sobs. And I put my head back between my knees and continued to cry.  

         "If  you don't open the door and  I can't see that you're okay, I'll have to call Dean."

        "Do not even think about it."  

          "I am waiting for you." 

        I took a deep breath and stood up. My makeup must have ruined. Still, I unlocked the door and slowly opened the door. After Sam made sure I was okay, he took me into his arms and hugged me tightly. This only made me cry even more. "You're soaked. You're going to be sick."   "I don't even care."   "Come, sit down for a while."  he said, slowly leading me towards my bed.

        "I thought he loved me."   I said sobbing.    "He loves you, Y/N." 

       "I'm not sure about that, Sam. He didn't even bother coming after me."    

       "Because he didn't have the courage to do it. He sent me instead."   Sam said. 

       "Oh, I thought you came because you were worried about me. You came to see your brother's work."  I said sternly.   

         "Don't be ridiculous. If he hadn't said so, I would have come anyway." 

         I lifted my head and looked into his eyes. He smiled.   

        "I know."  I said slowly.

          "Look, Dean is a little... How should I put it? My mother's death left a big mark on him. And on top of that, my father's death... Dean was a man who built walls between himself and people for as long as I can remember. I feel this too, most of the time."  

       "I know what you're going through isn't easy, Sam. That's not the problem. You know what the problem is? Dean doesn't understand the fact that I'll be there for him no matter what. He doesn't need to hide it from me when he's feeling down or pour all his venom into me. I'll be there to hold his hand when he needs."    

      "You should tell him this too."    "I didn't have time to say it. You saw with your own eyes how he treated me."   

       Sam sighed deeply, "You're both so stubborn. Dean's afraid something will happen to you. Just like you feel the same about him. But you're doing everything but telling each other."   

      "So what, am I guilty now?"   I asked. 

       "Hey, I didn't say anything like that!"   Sam said quickly.

       "Maybe we're not good for each other. Maybe we should put an end to all this." 

      "I don't remember seeing Dean this happy before you started dating, Y/N."    I laughed bitterly, "Until tonight..."     "You should talk."    

     "Let him apologize first."   I said.  

       "I agree with you on that."

     I was slowly starting to calm down when Sam forced me to take a hot shower. So at least I wasn't crying anymore. The voices in my head couldn't stop. I put on my pjamas and left the bathroom. Sam was sitting on the couch.   "Are you feeling better ?"  

        I smiled and nodded my head slowly, "Yes."   Then I added, "Sam, you don't need to wait on me. Go back to Dean."       "Are you sure ?"   

         "I'm sure. I'm going to bed anyway."     He looked at me with worried eyes.  

       "Go on. Maybe he needs you too."    

        "Okay. I'll come get him."   Sam said.    "However you like."  

         When Sam left the room, I turned off the lights and lay down on the double bed Dean and I shared. Would he sleep next to me tonight? Or would he choose to sleep on the couch? I ran my hand across his pillow. God, I was really in love with this man... I greedily wiped a few drops of tears from my eyes, turned my back to him and closed my eyes tightly.

      No matter how hard I tried to force myself to sleep, I couldn't. I don't know how much time has passed. While my eyes were still closed, I heard the room door open. Then the whispering voices of Dean and Sam.    

      "Goodnight."  Sam said, "Just talk with her."   "Good night, Sam. And stay out of my business."      "Just don't upset her."  

        As I continued to lie motionless, I felt a weight next to me. Dean must have been sitting right next to me. I felt my heart tremble as his hands caressed my hair.   

        "To hurt you this much when I love you like crazy... Oh, Dean, you're such an asshole."   He kissed my cheek, "I hope tomorrow won't be too late to fix everything."   I wanted to get up and hug him tightly, but I couldn't forgive him that easily. Then he lay down next to me and gently took me into his arms. He buried his head in my hair. I heard him whisper, "Either you are really asleep or you are too angry at me to look at me..."    I did not answer. After a short while, even though I was angry with him, I fell asleep with the comfort of being in his arms.

*TO BE CONTİNUED*