You Belong With Me || Yang Jungwon

23 : Restricted Beyond Disguise

(CW : Long Chapter ahead)

Yang Jia's pov

Currently it's night, me and Jungwon are relaxing in our Living room, in front of the fireplace, quietly dealing with our own share of drawbacks. Nobody wants to say anything, the atmosphere is calm, warm & cozy yet the underlying rigidity is there. I don't know when will be the perfect moment to bring up the brewing problems, that might ruin our healthy relationship if not talked and solved before it's too late. Feeling determined to solve this for once and all, I called out to Jungwon.

Accordingly I took the initiative and striked a conversation with Won whose head is laying on my lap, rest of his body on the couch while I am sitting, running my hands through his soft locks while resting my back at the sofa back.

"Wonnie ? " I softly let out and he hummed in response, letting me continue.

" You know...Distance doesn't separate people silence does." I said out of the blue in low tone, my words hitting too close to home that Jungwon looked up at me in the eyes, his brows furrowed in confusion yet soon understanding the gravity of my words.

" How about I tell you, how I am feeling this days and then you tell yours ?" I suddenly asked and he nodded while sitting up, his hands encircling around my waist, pulling me on his lap and burring his head in the Crook of my neck.

" These days my stomach burns all the time, I barley sleep and when I do, I only have horrible nightmares. I want to cry all the time, whenever something goes wrong or annoys me. I cry, I have no physical energy, I can't watch TV or movies and don't like music anymore. I just drive because I can scream really loud and no one can hear me. I feel like, You never loved me the way I wanted. you never hanged me but I always felt the rope around my head. I feel like you are being forced to act this way, I'm feeling guilty. You are looking so exhausted, tired and helpless that it pains me."  I said, pouring all my feelings in these riddle like words yet I know he understands every bits of it, I feel it because he tightened his grip of his hand.

" What happened Love ? Is something worrying you ?  Are you sick ? You can always tell me everything, I'm here to listen to everything you say.."  Jungwon said in a worried tone, clasping my hands  even tightly. He is blatantly ignoring the meaning behind my words. Either he is really in confusion or being ignorant. Jungwon... you know it too, just let out your feelings, pour it all out. That's it, if you are not going to start, I will kick off this heavy burden out of my heart. Its draining me out, all this while. 

I looked at him yet again with determined eyes and said in a firm voice, crystal clear, " Jungwon, What I am about to say, can kinda rub off on you in a wrong way but listen me out. I feel insecure, itchy, bad, angered and Jealous above all seeing you around Seeun, I know you can also see that we have been a little distant from each other, already, for a few days. We don't talk like before, we kinda avoid talking to each other with topics regarding our daily lives even. We can't even tell each other things without telling a half lie. I am sick of it. You know, on the odd occasion, it come by awkward to speak with you."

" Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to blame you for anything, I am simply convincing my emotions and thoughts to you. You can tell me yours too, Before being your wife, I am your best friend. You used to tell me everything before, nowadays you hesitate. I agree that it takes a lot of efforts to tell about your inner turmoil or sentiments but if you don't, you will slowly die inside, Jungwon-ah !! So, please do yourself and me a favour and tell me hence, we both can understand each other a little better..."  By the time I completed, I found myself shedding painful tears and him infront of my knees sobbing, I realised I was shouting at this point.