Banana's Blog and Journal

I have ADHD, apparently

5 April 2024

Ah, finally. You made another blog after you being gone for like months or so.

I apologize, lot of stuff happening behind the screen, not only that. But i've been spending my time playing game too, especially Signalis and Fortnite these day.

I want to be fast, so let's get to the point.

So, it has come to my attention that i have a condition called ADHD, my mom revealed it to me last night. And my reaction was like. Huh...i didn't expect that.

I mean, i've been spending my time working on my writing while multitasking even listening to Youtube on the background and also easily getting distracted, watching too much short form content on YT short. At first i was like it's nothingburger and i finally understand why i was like that.

The reason mom revealed it to me now is because she was like "How's my son gonna respond and feel when i told him about it in younger age, poor guy" kind of like that. Mom also told me that she gave me a medication to make me focused back in the day in form of pills every morning, but i don't recall when she gave me one. It's already blurry.

I don't feel have any ADHD even though i keep easily distracted and unfocused, i keep shrugging it off and assumed that the modern world really got the best of me and making me trying to not miss any news and drama in any seconds possible.

I guess i'll be welcomed to the club, you know what i mean.

But this is internet. I've seen people with condition like ADHD, autism or such having the side of the internet where they treated their condition like some quirkyness and siliness (Not everyone doing it thank God), but i'm not that type of person luckily, because i'm aware that treating those condition and act oh 'i'm such quirky because i have this condition' is not only cringe, but it's just outright disrespectful for those people who has this condition and struggle to live with it.

Yeah, those quirky adhd relatable rawr xd video can screw themselves, because i ain't touching and watching that piece of crap, i won't treat my adhd like it was quirkyness, the only thing i horrified with internet is how some people (especially in tiktok, Tumblr even instagram) treated condition like it's the best and coolest thing they ever have!

And i'm so lucky i don't do self-diagnosis like those TikTok and Tumblrites do, just go to the doctor if you feel have one.

One more thing, do NOT follow those account around social media about being 'silly and quikry with the certain condition i have :DDD' That's something i also grateful i don't follow any of them even though their post appears on the explore section (foreshadowing much?)

Well, i guess i really do need to accept the fact that i have ADHD, i'm sure mom revealing it late not only i could process it in my 20s, but also maybe, maybe i won't follow those kind of account during my teenage years.

I also need to remind myself that i shouldn't use my adhd as an excuse of me if i being terrible person, because i'm not a clout chaser who need a white knight that protect me because of my condition.

Anyway, i'll see you later. I'll finish Starla N Co episode 5 asap, sorry for seeing you guys been hanging with no content from me.

There's other stuff i want to tell, but i guess this is it for now. Later