Why... || Alastor Angst

1

Hii, future glimmer here, i edited this part 'cause it was trash lol. It is SO MUCH BETTER NOW OMGGGG. Also, there was a chapter after chapter 8 that explained the backstory of Alastor in this AU. BUt i deleted it by accident, so this is all in an AU that is quite different than the stereotypical one. Proceed with caution.

TW:

- Self harm
- Thoughts of abuse
- Mentions of suicide
- Drug use
- AU/HC
- OOC lol

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Nobody's POV

He winced as he crawled back into his radio tower, holding his injured chest. Slowly sitting on his bed, he wrapped his injury in a thick layer of gauze. I'm such a failure... He thought to himself. I couldn't protect them.. and now Sir Pentious is dead, the hotel is destroyed and its all because of ME. He looked down, his ears drooping, as he struggled to hold back his tears. Worthless. He thought back to the past, hearing the voices in his head. Weak. Stupid. Mistake.

He appeared in the middle of everyone, a big fake smile plastered on his face.

'🎵And we're doing it with a smileeee!🎵'

'Alastor!' Charlie squealed. 'We thought you died!'

So they thought I died. What about me? Where's my memorial? Sir pentious got one ... But they like him better anyway...

'Afraid not, deer,' He said, involuntarily wincing as she hugged him right where his wound was.

He winced, making Charlie jump back.

'Sorry.. '

'No problem deer'

He said barely listening, his eyes sweeping over the room. I only bring sadness and fear when I walk into the room. Why am I even here?

'Where have you been 'radio demon', huh?' Vaggie says.

'Yeah smiles, where were you?'

'...' He looked away.

'That is not your concern deers' He said.
'Uh, yes it is,' Vaggie replies, 'you abandoned us mid-battle.'

...and I hate myself for it...

'I... was helping the cannibals with their attack, they were barely holding up.' He lied.

'Oh, Al, that's so considerate of you!'

I wince. My dad always said empathy was weak... They probably think that too... I must look like a joke to them...

'anywayyy, who wants drinks?'

Husker says. 'Great idea husk...' Charlie says, rambling on and on. He zoned out as he thought about the battle.

No matter what he did, he always found myself there... reliving the moment of getting stabbed over and over again.

'AL????' I flinch.

'Yes deer?'

'We were asking if you wanted to join us for a celebratory drink for our victory?' Charlie said hopefully, her yellow eyes big.

'Ahh, sorry deer but I must decline. I am rather tired, I think I will go to bed a bit early.'

He turns and walks fast up the stairs. Bleh. I could not imagine eating or drinking right now... My stomach has a literal hole in it. Hey, at least now I'm more hole-y than before. He laughs at the terrible pun. He really is going insane.