WITH YOU...FOREVER!

21. STRONG!

AISHA

"..... When I got up the next morning, after that vigorous panic attack, I was in a hospital, brought by a kind lady, who found me outside my home, injured & unconscious..." I sighed completing the whole story of the latest panic attack I got that rainy night.

"You never had the phobia of dark Aisha... What are you hiding? Tell me all of it, or I won't be able to help you back!" spoke my psychologist, a man in his 50s, experienced, kind & most importantly, he knows about my past suicide attempts after Uncle attacked me, so I'm comfortable with him. He had been a friend like figure to me since then, but I lost his touch once I left Delhi, & see here I'm again.

The earth is indeed round. Nobody knew my consultations with him, & he too kept it private for my sake.

"I-In Mumbai, two years went good, b-but since past f-few months, t-things had changed..." spoke I looking at my intertwined fingers in my lap.

"Like? Don't tell me you had a breakup too!" spoke he, as I looked at him.

He laughed softly.

"Well that's common with people of your age!" spoke he shrugging.

"It's very much more than that..." spoke I licking my lips.

"You won't be fine till you don't share Aisha! You know I'll neither judge, nor blame you for anything. Come on, let me help you!" he spoke, more like requested.

He is a very professional man, yet a very nice friend, I mean I can't define him, but he has always helped me during my mental ups & downs.

"3 months back, I met someone accidently, &-& fell for him... I didn't accept at first, but he, he is a sorcerer... Those black eyes hold the power to bring me on my knees... I finally accepted, after a long time, & he waited patiently for-for me to accept.... Things started complicating a m-month back, when Vidisha, his sister & my sister-more-than a friend, whom I met in my college, without knowing she is his sister, she was going to be kidnapped, by his rival gang, & I-I inter-changed our personalities to save her then.... I was kidnapped by a man named A-Akash, as he thought me to be Vidisha & he t-told he w-wanted me.... V-Vidisha's brothers saved me, &-& k-kept me i-in t-their home, for my s-safety & I h-had n-no choice... Our closeness m-made me a-at last give in to him, two months ago, s-stopping my r-resistance... Then one day he was a-attacked on a grocery store, b-by same guy A-Akash... I t-took bullets to s-save him, &-& I r-realized my love f-for him, & thinking I w-won't make it, I confessed, in his lap.... he took me to the hospital & I was saved... I wish I died then, I-I was satisfied at least...." I took a long pause looking outside, with my eyes glassy, thinking about that day, & I yet remember I closed my eyes praying for him & his well being, giving on any hope, but I was happy, indeed I was, that I'm dying in his arms, unlike today, when all I have is this sucking loneliness...

"...Then we came closer, too close, but I could never g-get physical with him to t-that level af-after U-Uncle & Sam..." spoke I, as I wiped a tear.

"Sam?" asked he.

"The guy who t-tried to r-rape me d-during N-Nisha's wedding... Oh, I f-forgot to tell about him..." spoke I sniffing.

"H-he saved me f-from S-Sam, & a-also I t-told him about my past & h-he had accepted, giving m-my heart a f-fake h-hope that I'm-I'm lovable..." spoke I, getting lost in him & those days.

"So after you confessed?" asked he, as I told him about our Goa trip & his aggression, as I left for Mumbai again.

"So that is why you have dark phobia? But I see no connection!" spoke he his wrinkled forehead wrinkling more as he scrunched his brows, placing his pen on his ears, as I smiled looking at him, & his confused expressions.