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79. TEARS & SMIRKS!

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AISHA

I woke up feeling uneasy, unable to sleep, as I moved to-&-fro in my room, thinking what's actually happening in my life!

I mean I've been through the worst, but yet it was alright till this storm named VIVAAN SINGH KHURANA entered my already not so peaceful life!

& now he is fucking playing with my brains & fucking up with my already shattered heart now!

It's been two weeks since we came back from Lucknow, & since he misbehaved with me...

Yes, I'm super angry at him for doing that, & I can't forgive him, but how can I even consider forgiving him when he doesn't even apologize? Hell he hasn't even looked my way let alone regret for being a douche!

That day when we were returning, he sat by me, the whole time, & didn't even say anything or try to pull any stunt he pulls whenever he gets any chance! So fucking unlike him!

Plus his suddenly hurting me that day... I don't know but I can't digest the fact that he firstly hurt me, & then ignore me like a piece of shit, like I'm nobody to him...

But what if I actually am nobody to him, what if he got bored of me already, what if he wants sex, & I didn't fulfill his needs that's why he behaved like that, got mad & then left me?

... left me? Just like that?

& that was it! As soon as this thought hit me, my chest became too hard for me to bear, paining mildly, as my breathes got shallow, making me pant & soon I felt my blurry eyes shedding away the broken pieces of my heart as I sniffed balancing my body by the bed, & finally sat holding my knees closer to my chest, my back touching the edge of my huge bed.

"Why fucking why why why!" I almost yelled pulling my hairs out, all frustrated...

..... I saw dark smoke all around, as I heard him calling me, & when I turned around he looked at me with desperation in his eyes & stepped back... I was standing still, with my teary eyes as I tried calling him, tried moving but couldn't... I used my all strength, but couldn't move an inch, as he kept on stepping backwards in the dark smoke, looking like the King of the dark that he is in his dark suit, as he stepped backwards, his hands in his pockets, his face neutral, but his eyes narrating something, something like pain making my heart clench, as I started panting, & left out a scream of his name,

"VIVAAN!"

..... But I was late, too late, for he had disappeared in the dark smokes, leaving me all alone, with his no trace, & left was just me, all alone in the dark smoke of uncertainties which rose with every passing second, suffocating me...

"V-Vivaan..." called him I, but nobody came, as I kept on waiting for my savior, my love but nothing happened & the smoke engulfed me in it...

I jolted up, sweating profoundly, as I pressed my frantically beating heart. I looked on the side of my bed for my comfort, to find him nowhere, as a dark chuckle left my mouth with a few tears escaping my heavy eyes...

This is my new routine, overthink about him, about us, & I don't know if 'we' even exist as one anymore as us, & then I jolt up anytime in night from such nightmares unable to take a blink of sleep again... I literally am tired of everything now!