WITH YOU...FOREVER!

23. "NEW LIFE!"

AISHA

"Bye Aisha!" spoke Abid, as I turned to him, smiled & bid him goodbye, making my way to my home, which isn't far away from here. We all old friends went on a drive today, to the nature!

I have recently started working in a nearby NGO as a volunteer, it's a big NGO, quiet famous for it's works, & even got awarded internationally & nationally. I'm glad I could join it there. It works as an orphanage, old-age home & also as a shelter for abused women.

I just feel peaceful being there. I teach children for two hours in the morning, then I volunteer in the old-age home unit for two hours till noon & then during lunch, I go & meet several women in their shelter, who now are quiet friendly with me, & also look after there & then I'm free. When I listen to them & their past, I can't help but cry, & thank God for giving me a better life.

I always cried & cried over the small-big losses I ever had, & these people here are so strong, fighting against every odd smilingly. The irony is, that I never felt myself, or belongingness at my own place, but I feel belongingness at a place where nobody belongs to anyone...

I chuckled at the thought, as my steps slowly moved towards my home. It's been almost a week for me working there, all thanks to Abid & my other friends, who helped me to get a volunteer work here. Well I left them & we were connected only on social media, that too distantly, but yet they accepted me.

Yes, their mere acceptance means a lot to me, for I was never accepted anywhere! In fact now I feel like I forced myself on everyone, including the Bakshis, then on my so called friends, then on Vidhi, I mean Vidisha, by helping her & then on Vivaan & Khuranas. Jeez, I've really been clingy!

I sighed shaking my head as I came back to my home, & sighed sitting on the cozy couch, in my cream-colored paradise of a home. It has three bedrooms, two upstairs, with an open kitchen, attached to the small hall, which is attached to the cozy living.

The thing I love the most is Mom's taste & love for nature, which I have inherited from her. That's the reason we have had a lot of plant pots, which I continue to have even now, & also we have huge open spaces & balconies in our home.

But the place I love the most is roof. I took my cup of ginger chai (Indian tea) & went upstairs on roof, as the birds' chirping & the setting sun calmed me. I smiled thinking how I used to be here every evening just like this with my Mamma. I sat on the same chair I used to with Mamma, placing the cup on the same table, looking at her empty chair, as I held my pendent & kissed it.

"Mamma, I miss you so so much, & I love you! I'll fulfill the promise I gave you! I'll stand strong & fight for myself, hope you are with me in this..." spoke I looking at the sky as I kissed the pendent & started sipping my tea along with writing in my diary. That's the only way I can let out my pain & frustration, as I know, & also my psychologist suggests that I should let it all out, & who can be a better listener than my own diary?

I wrote & wrote as it turned dark & my belly grumbled, & I came down taking my belongings. I came to the kitchen, as I have to cook, but cooking for your alone self sucks!

I started kneading the dough for making chapatis, when my hairs fell on my face irritating me, as I groaned in irritation pulling them back from my hand's back, as my hands were filled with dough, when I went back into some past memories...

*FLASHBACK*

Vidhi has invited Mrs. Khurana again for lunch today, which I know is her another excuse of having a family lunch, & what makes me irritated is my inclusion in their family lunches & dinners, when I'm just an outsider bugging them all with my so clumsy presence.